Asklemmy

This is the most upvotes I have seen on Lemmy so far! We gotta get this over 1k at least!

The best thing you can eat is nothing. Take a 3 day water only fast. Maybe 4 days, start before your trip to get out all the poop ahead of time.

please stop talking about how this post is going to be on lectures 10 years later and help this guy, he NEED help lmao

I wonder how he will behave as soon as the first thing the date does in the tent is, unceremoniously, going for a poop.

!RemindMe 7 days

Not sure if this is a troll post...

But in case not, in my experience black chocolate and banana helps in these kind of situations...

And don't drink apple or grape juice, or the opposite will happen 🙃

Honestly, the edits didn’t clarify much. I’m nearly as confused by this whole situation as I was the first time I read the post

I was here witnessing lemmy history being made and I will probably die of curiosity if we do not get an update. I do not have any tips. I just hope that you come back safe and sound.

NOSHITGANG

Get your bowels empty in the days leading up to it. So don’t eat. Anything. 2 days before you can relieve yourself start eating small amounts of protein.

Or, better yet, don’t even try to do this. You’re very unlikely to succeed and therefore your effort is going into preventing an inevitable situation rather than figuring out how to deal with the inevitable problem once it arrives.

Is the goal to keep the poop inside your body? If it's allowed to come out and play, you could blend it with gatorade and consume it as soon as possible to minimize time spent outdoors.

I was here when the no-shit post jump started the popularity of this platform. My children will be so proud

You said if we guess you'd confirm so here's my attempt.

Are you participating in like one of those TV competitions? Will you be filmed if you poop and that's why you'd rather not?

Honestly, If u dont want to poop and eat as little as possible i would consider fasting. If zero food is too intimidating - pack some nuts.

The type of shit (or lack thereof) that I came here to subscribe.

lol this is hilarious, and I also hope you're okay, OP!

Now, some say this is the first Lemmy meme. I'm not sure that's the case, for what it's worth. However, it does feel exciting to see a meta moment like this! So absurd! 😂

8/10 with rice

I think this is for some sort of fanfic or roleplay, so:

Military food. If you want something old fashioned but not so bland like the european bread take a look at what paraguayan soldiers used during the three aliances war.

Aha! You are joining the circus!!!

It’s been 6 days since the original post. OP was 3 days out from the poopless leg of his trip. OP, I hope everything went according to plan!

Please update when back!

Lemmy history!

I was here for... Whatever this is...

I just hope OP posts an update if he made it 3 days or not

Just start taking Adderall. If you're anything like me, you will have to remind yourself to eat more than 500 calories a day and then you will find yourself questioning how many days it has been since you even felt the need to poop.