this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2023
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Lemmy Be Wholesome

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[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 62 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (4 children)

...how much is the stock market?

No, like the entire thing. All of it. And the bond market, I'll take that too.

Buy it all as a retail trader, or as much as possible in 24 hours. Pay people to help me get more trades done.

Wreck some short sellers on the way, inflate the value of a bunch of companies, acquire several publicly traded banks and at least one investment firm, probably a law firm or two. Pay them to explain it to the IRS.

[–] 5200@lemmy.world 37 points 10 months ago

"Hello Federal Reserve of New York, how much for your entire inventory?"

[–] KevonLooney@lemm.ee 19 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Not possible because the price will rise as you buy. Your broker will not even accept a deposit of "infinity dollars". None of this is possible because moving large amounts of money doesn't happen that quickly, for good reason.

[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Yes, well OP also doesn't say that there will be no consequences. I feel like everyone's answers are just ignoring the tax burden that would result from realizing this income.

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[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago

Then don't even keep it. Throw the whole thing into a mutual fund called "The Poor Fund." That funds sole purpose is to hand the poorest people on the planet either their own personal trusts, or UBI depending on the returns we are getting.

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[–] glimse@lemmy.world 49 points 10 months ago (3 children)

You can't buy real estate and company that fast so...gold and bonds. Stocks.

[–] Sheeple@lemmy.world 31 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Seriously almost everyone in the comment section neglects the LOGISTICS part which all wouldn't work under the 24 hour time limit.

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Yeah, and even with my examples you'll definitely get slowed down a bit spending that much money at once through suspicion. Another option is to buy up video cards or something. Make a bunch of orders online

[–] Sheeple@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago

Honestly yeah. That might be your best bet. Convert your money into quickly acquirable measures of worth.

While one might think of online purchase like you suggested, another more efficient option is lottery tickets. You can easily bulk buy them without much hassle at what might aswell be an endless amount. Then, you can handle filling em out later which makes them ideal.

With the average jackpot standing at 30-700 million, you are looking at some easy billions. Usually gambling is not a good way to earn money but we are looking at a zero loss game for us, meaning loss isn't a loss of money, rather so only a slowing in gains.

Although I'm sure there are much better methods of quickly converting your wealth into a retrievable form.

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[–] SatanicNotMessianic@lemmy.ml 6 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Sure, but buying stocks is one way of buying companies. You’d also need to have those funds transferred into your trading account.

Actually there may be a technicality there. If you do a funds transfer, it takes time (2-3 days iirc) for the money to actually show up in your trading account. So let’s say you have $1M in your checking account from this qquestion (plus whatever was already there), and you have $1M in your trading account already because you’re investing in the market. So for that brief window of time (which would include the post-24h period) you will have the exact same starting amounts of money net in both accounts. The reset doesn’t need to actually reset anything because that $1M is in limbo. That’s better than hiding in another account or some of the other suggestions, if it works, because you really just don’t technically have that money.

But in any case, you can absolutely buy houses. Just double the asking price in exchange for a binding contract selling you the house for cash. If someone were to knock on my door tomorrow morning with a cash offer of 4M for my house, I’d have to seriously think about it. If they offered me $40M, I’d have to just do it. With $40M, I can figure out my next steps pretty easily. Make it $400M, and I can’t see anyone turning that down. And the thing is, if you have infinite money, all of those numbers are exactly the same for you. Never having bought or sold a house for all cash, I’m not sure how long the actual closing takes, but I do know when I bought that the longest part was getting the mortgage done. I’m just saying that you could (probably) establish a contract and exchange the money, locking in the deal. Give a million lawyers a million dollars each to do the same thing across the country.

That kind of thing occurred in a movie or show that I saw. The (I think) bad guy needed this one particular house for his fiendish plot and walked up to the door with $1M (or whatever it was - it was obviously well more than the house was worth) on the condition that the family move out immediately. That’s obviously glossing over some details that my approach addresses - as long as the contract is signed and the money is transferred I don’t need that house today.

I mean you’d completely crash the economy- possibly the entire global economy - by dumping what would likely be trillions into it within 24h, at which point your houses might not be worth that much. So maybe just a few times.

Then the government is going to ask you where you got all that money and you’ll have to show them the tweet.

Then you’ll have to pay taxes on all of that, which you could do by selling off half your houses…

But if that’s too complicated, you could buy every car on the planet or anything else you could pull off with a cash transaction.

Or just buy Lichtenstein or something. The problem is that Brewster’s Millions was an interesting question because he had to spend $100M (or whatever it was within a week but be left with nothing. There were restrictions (can’t destroy something - no buying the Mona Lisa and setting it on fire, I think they disallowed donations so no sending it to orphans, that kind of thing). That’s a bit of a challenge. I guess you could rent Salesforce Tower and/or other buildings for a week.

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[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 40 points 10 months ago (6 children)

unlimited money in my bank account for 24 hours? withdraw as much as legally possible in cash then stash it somewhere. Then the next day when my bank account goes back to normal, I still got shit-ton of tangible cash stashed somewhere.

[–] Kase@lemmy.world 23 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

Emphasis on "somewhere." 50 years later I'd be on my deathbed telling my grandchildren "I'm not joking! I swear I have a fortune hidden somewhere!" (Edit: I forgot to include - I'd hide the money and then not be able to find it lmao)

Then it'd be like one of those movies where they have to find it, but they find themselves in increasingly bizarre and adventurous situations along the way.

[–] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago

"Kids, come closer, I have something to tell you"

"What is it grandma/pa kase?"

"Come closer"

"Yes?"

"There's always money in the banana stand"

[–] Zugyuk@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

My wealth and treasure? It can be yours if you want it! Search for it! I left everything in that one place.

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[–] Tja@programming.dev 36 points 10 months ago (7 children)

Almost nobody in this thread is aware of the limitations that 24h pose.

Forget real estate needs weeks, even cash. Anything bigger than 10k probably needs a few days notice. I have like a 600 euros a day limit on my cards.

Buying bitcoin could be a good idea, lottery tickets or gold.

[–] sheogorath@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago

Buying various crypto without crashing the market would be the best bet.

[–] CaptnNMorgan@reddthat.com 7 points 10 months ago (9 children)

What about stocks? Couldn't you load millions into various companies and cash out the next day?

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[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 24 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I would find a way to funnel several trillion US dollars to some Sahran African country. No goal in mind, just to see what would happen.

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[–] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Bribe the supreme court to retire, apparently buying them doesn't cost much

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 19 points 10 months ago

I'd just spend the next 24 hours moving money from that account to other accounts and withdrawing as much cash as I can, so I can continue to have more money than I could ever spend in a life time after the 24 hours.

[–] garbagebagel@lemmy.world 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I would buy as many lottery tickets and scratch and wins as they would let me because gambling without consequences is fun.

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[–] bfg9k@lemmy.world 16 points 10 months ago

So just my bank balance goes back to normal?

Then I'd immediately go to the nearest rich suburb, go to every big bank that has an atm and just keep withdrawing cash till it's empty, chuck it in a bag and move on to the next.

Probably stop every few hours to buy more crypto and order more stuff for delivery to sell/give away

Might buy as many tickets as I can on a bunch of those car/real estate raffles you see everywhere now with limited entries and hopefully at least one comes through

Anything I can buy with a card/online I'd do it. For the rest of the day it's running between ATM's pulling out as much cash as possible.

[–] Snapz@lemmy.world 16 points 10 months ago

Do you keep everything you acquire? Because then of course all the digital and paper instant wealth options mentioned.

If you dont personally keep what you acquire, then be good to everyone else so you're surrounded by goodwill after the fact. All friends, family, neighbors and immediate area strangers get a new house or existing mortgage paid off, a new car, a college tuition for each kid and 25 prepaid family vacations. The city gets new freely accessible community features funded and everyone gets a guaranteed universal basic income for the next 100 years. Also purchase all the medical /college debt and forgive it immediately.

Only caveat, you do have to sign a legally binding contact that says you understand that trump didn't win the 2020 election and he's lying when he says the election was "rigged", because he's a sad little bitch loser.

[–] jrwperformance@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Go to all my local hospitals and pay off all medical debt. Then take out a few million in cash for myself/family.

[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

Fuck it, with unlimited money just buy out the board of directors and set up several hundred million in a secure fund (independent of you) to sustain the hospital indefinitely. It would be a lot of work for 24 hours, but, hey, money is the best oil for squeaky wheels.

[–] Matriks404@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago (2 children)
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[–] EmergMemeHologram@startrek.website 14 points 10 months ago (3 children)

I would buy all of the Bitcoin. Every single one that doesn't belong to a lost wallet.

Then I would delete the wallet keys.

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[–] danielf@aussie.zone 13 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I would donate just enough to solve important world problems, then not spend another cent. With infinite money, everything is worthless, and that would be rather dull.

The next day I would wake up, severely regret not being the slightest bit greedy, and fall into severe depression.

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[–] PrMinisterGR@lemmy.ml 12 points 10 months ago

Create another bank account and transfer it all there, so I can have some time to think.

[–] Sabre363@sh.itjust.works 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'd want to buy every mega-corporation just to watch the top 1% of the 1% squirm, but I would probably just buy a castle and hide away from humanity for a while.

[–] Dagnet@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Buy twitter from Elon for a pittance, return it to what it was, sell it to Elon again for 40 billion

[–] Deceptichum@kbin.social 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Buy hit man, ???, never hear about Elon again.

[–] Fixbeat@lemmy.ml 10 points 10 months ago

I’d buy a bunch of hookers and blow. We’d have a swell party with the drugs, then I’d pay the hookers bills so they could have a normal life if they wanted.

[–] ConstantPain@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago

Go to the bank and ask for an administrative check of 100 billion. The bank will secure the funds and you can redeposit it the next day.

[–] danc4498@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The rule needs to be that anything you buy is non transferable.

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[–] QaspR@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago

I'd buy TSMC

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (4 children)

Step 1: Create a trust or corporation in which I am the sole director.
Step 2: Open new bank account in the trust or corporation's name.
Step 3: Transfer unlimited funds into the new bank account.
Step 4: ?????
Step 5: Solve World Issues
Step 6: Swim in a Olympic size swimming pool of money Scrooge McDuck style.

Edit: Formatting

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[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (8 children)

It would be a race against time. Figuring out a way to secure the funds would take up a good part of the day. There has to be some more ground rules to get a good idea what is possible.

Unlimited stacks of cash would be the easiest way I think.

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[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago

Some other type of financial account.

[–] Caesium@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago (4 children)

id buy a house, get a new car, pay off my sis' student loans and my moms medical bills. after all the important stuff I'd probably wipe out my steam wishlist.

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[–] Allero@lemmy.today 7 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

Easy

-Give out infinite money to everyone

-...

-Money are worthless, communism achieved!

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[–] Poggervania@kbin.social 7 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I’d wire everybody I possibly can $1 billion dollars to their bank accounts within 24 hours.

[–] Deuces@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (3 children)

You'd break the world economy, but all debt would be erased worldwide... I can't decide if the 3 years of Weimar republic levels of suffering for everybody is worth removing all current debt suffering. I guess you'll go down in history at the very least

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[–] gunpachi@lemmings.world 6 points 10 months ago

I'm not sure if I can do any of these within 24 hours, but -

  • I would buy some land, at least enough to farm for the next 2 generations.
  • Buy a private Island and a Boat / Yatch
  • Invest a lot in stocks.
  • Cash out some money to use for emergency situations.
  • Initiate a large scale Solarpunk project.
[–] Anticorp@lemmy.ml 6 points 10 months ago

Bearer bonds, ofc.

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