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Oh man, having grown up in a small town (one stop light, baby!):
Be visibly neurodivergent
Be visibly gender nonconforming
Not have worry about someone at the doctor's office/hospital who knows your family breaking HIPAA
Be able to just be an anonymous person in public, and not Jody-Anne's cousin's kid
To not be reliant on owning a car
It's bad enough dealing with crippling depression in a small town, where everyone's going to tell you that A: your condition is a moral failure rather than an illness with physiological underpinnings, B: religion is the answer to your condition, C: (for males, anyway) your condition makes you weak and effeminate, or D: a combination of the above or more likely all of them. Adding those things on top of it is a recipe for suicide.
Don't forget that if you're not in the in-group, people will try to drive you out of the area. I've lived in small towns most of my life, and while there's exceptions it's still common.
And this isn't even race based. Just not being related to one (or more) of the main 3-4 families in town will get you on the shit list, especially if you're not from the area. Going to a different church than the one in town will do it too
Some of these you can't do in some cities either.
I grew up in New York City, my pops is fairly well known, we're part of a large family, most people knew me as his son or one of my female cousins cousin.
Also I've seen LGBTQ folks get bullied, same with "neurodivergent" and other folks with mental and physical disabilities.
The only difference is that in a city you can find your "people" because in a small town there may be one or a few of you, in a large city there are many, but there are also many many assholes there too. Also public transportation is an absolute "plus" when it comes to a city.
Now I live in a coastal area of Florida that likes to think of itself as "small town" while being incredibly busy traffic-wise and having more population than Iceland, and that HIPAA thing is a real problem. My kid took in a friend who wanted to escape her crazy and abusive Jehovah's Witness parents, well the mother works where my kid went to the doctor a few times, she looked up my kids medical records and then showed up at our house. I gave my kid so much shit about how the mother violated HIPAA and how she should get her fired, and my daughter wouldn't, she just didn't want to get her friends mother in trouble, but that was a serious breach of trust and this woman shouldn't be working in the medical field if she can't follow the regulations governing the field, if I did similar in my career field I would be completely unhirable.
I hate that for you. But you speak to the lack of social services that are typically not available, which is a pro of living in a large city.
Two light town here. It's not just social services. Hell, with sizes, sometimes (not always) they have it a bit easier in certain regards for the common services due to reduced workload (YMMV: it's been a while since I've been back).
The bigger issue is lack of exposure to anything non-conforming. Not enough people simply being people in slightly different ways. Makes it easy to fall into tribalism, as well as no one wants to shake the boat when someone says something racist (for example).
I hate that for you
Damn coming in with that small-town passive-aggression.
Be anything other than a macho straight cis white male without being hunted.
Not own a car.
Go out for fun that doesn't involve alcohol and/or sex.
Go out for a drink and not have to drive drunk to get home.
Be different without feeling bad about it.
I'd be willing to bet that 80% of the people that have a very intense emotional reaction to the small town song live in the suburbs less than 20 to 30 minutes away from whatever city they work in.
Actual small towns like that have less than a couple thousand people suck ass. There's nothing to do there and no jobs and that's why people leave.
For me it’s the video. Song is good and catchy. The video…it’s just Fox News set to music.
Around here, find fast reliable internet.
Buying groceries in bulk. You'd think this would be THE place for it, but the nearest good shopping is 70+ miles away. The grocery store here is boring AF as well as expensive. If you want to make sushi for dinner, you're SOL.
A friend of mine moved to a small town after high school. Everyone treated her like shit until she became a member of the local church. She is an atheist but she was tired of getting the stinkeye every time she went to the grocery store. She told me she felt like she had no choice.
There is no way i would movie into a cult town
It's also a social thing for them and the non-believers raised out there still go.
Lots of things.
Use public transportation.
Have multiple experiences available nearby to do as a day activity.
Have a large pool of people available to meet and know.
Walk to anything interesting.
In general just have lots of options and variety for anything: work, groceries, eating out, etc.
Some small towns might have some walkability for downtown but nothing more than that.
Buy groceries that aren't from a gas station. Find a place to eat that wasn't the gas station or the only bar in town.
Can we define a small town? The ones in his video have populations of around 150k which I would argue isn't a small town. That's a little over the combined population of seven counties were I live or about 165% of the combined population of all 11 "major cities" in the Eastern Kentucky Coalfields. I say anything much over 10k in population doesn't qualify as a small town.
Small town should be <10k and not part of urban sprawl
It would be nice if it were that simple, but a lot of "small towns" have a few tens of thousands of people but are located in a sprawling, rural area.
My hometown had a population of 120. My current town is around 800. Anything bigger might as well be a city to me lol
One of my hobbies is doing improv. There aren't a lot of small towns with improv theatres. A lot of small towns don't have theatres at all.
I live in a town of 4500 in the California coastal mountains. We have a library, a dispensary, a volunteer fire department, and an ambulance. We're open about diversity, and the mountain skinheads (NAZIs) are disliked and can't get a foothold. Internet connections are touchy and max out around 50mbps. The power does go out so often that most folks have backup generators. Mine will handle a two week outage.
The only thing missing is a decent night life. I may be a biker, but the local biker bar is very sketchy.
I was raised in a town of around 200 people for much of my life. The biggest issue with towns like that is that theres very little in the way of civilization in those areas as a small population cant support much. All this town had is an elementary school, a post office, a church and one small business that burned itself down once because they worked with a lot of varnish and solvents.
The town was closs knit, fairly quiet and laid back which was nice but the town was not at all self sufficient. Anyone that was not content with outdoor activities driven by your imagination would be bored to tears.
Run errands around town without being identified, either as in or out group.
My mom once got a call in our small Kentucky town from a local gossip/busy-body. She asked what we were drinking--said she had seen us pulling out of the Sonic. It was shit like that ALL THE TIME. Our routine/game when going to Wal-Mart was to guess how many people we'd see that we knew (the answer was VERY RARELY IF EVER zero).
For a lot of people, it's getting out. Moving is expensive and they can't get enough work at the Wal*Mart or the prison, and all the other employers have gone out of business or offshored their labor. That's why a lot of people enlist in the military.
When you're so desperate to get out of a place that you're willing to kill people to do it.
At some point my parents bought a home in a small town for the land and privacy. When a big storm came through and knocked out power for most of the state, guess which towns were restored last? The small towns with hardly any people in them!
To be fair, that's fair.
That really sucks.
I was in the village of Lungern in Switzerland for the day, it was impossible to find anything vegetarian to eat.
If I'm going home to do anything around the house for family, I must plan ahead for the typical DIY snafu's that happen. I can't just run out to the Home Depot or the MicroCenter to get specialty parts (or even not so specialty just barely more niche than Walmart and Dollar General). Amazon Prime next day is not available.
Grandma has a leak under the sink but Walmart doesn't carry 1/4" ferrules for the compression valve? Get a bucket, Grandma, and prepare to wait 3 days for the parts to come in the mail. Can't call the plumber because he's off this week on a fishing trip.
Getting quality groceries is hit or miss. On one hand, the produce available is excellent. Yet all the restaurants in town offer some version of deep fried. I like the 2 Mexican joints the best because they are the less greasy options.
go to the dispensary 🍍
Most small towns I’ve visited in California, Oregon, and Washington - even the very conservative parts - still had one. But maybe it’s a west coast thing? I haven’t visited too many small towns in other states where it is legal.
Lol not just Cali, its everywhere by and large in my experience at least in the legal states.
Shops close early. Not as bad in a town on a major highway or other transit route, but definitely slow. And you need a car to go anywhere unless you live near downtown.
