this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2023
438 points (95.4% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26924 readers
1448 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] oxideseven@lemmy.ca 64 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Probably 95% of the time, honestly.

Almost every time, even when it's something I'm a SME about. I just don't want to play the popularity/karma game and deal with nonsense.

[–] dpkonofa@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I used to think that Reddit was the worst about that but Lemmy has topped it. Reddit would be filled with comments from people that were off about something small that I’m a SME about. People on Lemmy like to engage in entire comment chains that are just flat out wrong that they’re confidently incorrect about.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] JetpackJackson@feddit.de 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] prongs@lemm.ee 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] JetpackJackson@feddit.de 6 points 1 year ago

Ah ok, thanks! Figured it had something to do with "expert" but I couldn't figure it out.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] breakingcups@lemmy.world 38 points 1 year ago

Consider that your target audience for this question might inherently have difficulty answering this.

[–] OhmsLawn@lemmy.world 30 points 1 year ago

50% of th...ah, fuck it.

[–] MrMamiya@feddit.de 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I’ve been on the internet long enough I can have the entire argument with myself at this point. I’ve taken to just posting what I want and forgetting about it. They can’t all be bangers.

[–] funnystuff97@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (3 children)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] infinipurple@lemm.ee 19 points 1 year ago

I almost didn't even post this response.

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I just deleted four paragraphs about Batman and the ethics of murder because I realized I didn't actually want to argue with anyone, I was just soapboxing. And it would definitely start an argument.

[–] Blamemeta@lemm.ee 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You know, we could use a soapbox community. No replies, just text posts. I could definitely post a couple of my own.

[–] IronKrill@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You would surely get meta posters directly or indirectly addressing other posts lol

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] SARGEx117@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

That's when you post anyway and add in "I will not be taking any questions."

Stick to your word, ignore replies if you don't even care what other people have to say in response.

[–] all-knight-party@kbin.run 7 points 1 year ago

Fuck it, soap box anyway. It's a neat way to catalog your thoughts and opinions, like having a journal or blog where the subjects are informed by what you're commenting on.

[–] jimbo@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Would have been great if no one replied to this post.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Smurfe@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

All. The. Fucking. Time.

[–] Karyoplasma@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I often type and then realize I'm not really adding anything to the discussion. Then I just discard it.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

3 out of 4 times?

Find myself reiterating something that was already said. Arguing a point nobody cares about. Entering a discussion that I know will not go my way regardless of what info I provide, because even Lemmy has a Hive Mind sometimes and doesn’t like dissent. Realizing half way through writing it that I don’t really know enough about the subject and should just shut up. Or maybe I just think my comment won’t offer anything that contributes to the discussion.

[–] BertramDitore@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

So. Often. At least twice a day.

[–] moistclump@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Often but not as often as I used to on Reddit. On Lemmy, I do feel more of a sense that I can contribute to the conversation and hopefully will be met with more respect than the other place.

We’re building the kind of community we want. I want to be interacting with engaged and respectful people, so I’m trying to be the same. Feels like more ownership, Yknow?

[–] spittingimage@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

A lot. I start typing then stop, physically remove my hands from the keyboard and remind myself that A) arguing on the internet never convinced anyone of anything and B) it will make me feel worse, not better.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] LifeLikeLady@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

You're lucky I'm even responding to this. That's how often.

[–] sep@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I post about 1/20th of the replies i write.

[–] Weirdfish@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

This sounds about right. I have an emotional response to something, feel I have something to add, and start banging out a wall of text.

Then I reread it for errors before I post and just think "nobody needs to see this" and delete it.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] FelixMortane@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Less here, way more often on Reddit. Here is nicer to have conversations.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] ConstipatedWatson@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

(furiously clicks to delete the partially written answer)

[–] weariedfae@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

All the time. I just did it right now because I don't want to fight about what I was going to say. Sigh. Tl;Dr lemmy isn't that different than reddit... still lots of jerks.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] mayo@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think of this as like reddit ptsd. People on lemmy have generally been unexpectedly level headed when disagreeing on things.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

The older I get, the fewer fucks I give. I still give fucks, just not as much.

[–] nocturne213@lemm.ee 9 points 1 year ago

I have done this for years starting with emails. I find typing out the reply helps me more than actually sending it.

Very often, and it doesn't help that my replies tend to be absurdly long

Towards the end, I either realize that what I want to say has already been said by someone, the argument isn't worth it (like you said), or what's on my mind really isn't worth bothering other people over.

[–] JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I don't argue. I just state my case. It's up to the other guy to get offended and defensive.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago
[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] danwardvs@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

A lot of the time. Sometimes I even do research to back up my argument then I realize it’s not worth it.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Illecors@lemmy.cafe 7 points 1 year ago

Rarely. If I've put in the effort to jot down whatever bollocks I've come up with - it's going out.

[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

For me it's not the realization that the argument isn't very good is the realization that what I'm about to say isn't very interesting.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Spzi@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago

I guess most see it as a bad thing. As waste, or resignation. But here's the good story!

It can be a fruitful inner dialogue. While writing the comment, you engage with the topic, which changes your mind. That's a healthy and good thing! If in the end, your result is "I'd rather not post that, because ...", then this reason is the insight you gained by writing that comment.

Sometimes I realize flaws in my reasoning this way. And I'm happy to catch them! Imagine if it was not asynchronous written conversation, but real time face to face.

Of course there are many reasons to delete a draft. If it's mostly insecurity, I'd encourage people to give it a try. Experiences are what bring you forward, and if it's only to learn what not to repeat in the future.

I almost deleted the last paragraph.

[–] deranger@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

All the time, and on multiple social networks. I’ll write up a whole post just to consider the responses then delete it without posting.

I get what I wanted to say out of my system, and get no replies to deal with.

[–] jafo@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

I often will do this. At the end of writing a comment I ask myself "is my desire to comment satisfied by writing this comment, is it more about me writing it than other people reading it, is the response to the comment more likely to bring bain than joy?" The answers often lead me to just closing the comment page rather than posting it, and I feel fine about that.

[–] MTK@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Wonder how many replies were deleted here before posting

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] AnalogyAddict@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

More times than not. Arguing on the internet is like mud wrestling with a pig.

[–] BigNote@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago

More often than not.

[–] variants@possumpat.io 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] _number8_@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

yes

i wish we could disable inbox replies on here

[–] MargotRobbie@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Sometimes I can be pretty mean and stubborn in real life, so I actively try to not bring that here.

I gave up on Internet arguments a while back, felt like I was getting too old. Most of us are grown ups here, so we should all act like grown ups here.

[–] elephantium@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

All the time, my friend, all the time.

[–] exododo@leminal.space 4 points 1 year ago

Almost always lately, I don't even fini

load more comments
view more: next ›