this post was submitted on 10 Feb 2025
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Asklemmy
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Phew, good thing I don't own a car and haven't driven for 13 years... Wait maybe this is the year π
How to Cure Fungus on Aquarium Fish
Am I going to be patient zero for an IRL Last of Us?
"How to put a collar on a cat" yeah that tracks honestly
https://www.wikihow.com/Grow-Dates-Indoors
Guys I'm scared, my wife has been trying to grow dates indoors. Send for help, my time is near.
How to cut wispy bangs. Well I'd gladly die before having bangs again.
How to drop a gas tank.
Feels like a pretty reasonable way to go - I might even beat Elon to mars.
https://www.wikihow.com/Mind-Your-Own-Business
Alone I guess? In solitude. At least I wouldnβt be bothering anyone else.
'How to treat a sprained neck'
So not sure if I'm the one with the neck injury or if I managed to get killed treating someone else
How to get prescribed Xanax
Seems legit
I guess that house wasn't abandoned
Celebrating Onam apparently. I didn't know that existed even, but it seems so fun it's deadly.
"How to Clean Leather Sandals"
I don't own leather sandals and am not sure I know anyone who does, so that is very unlikely any time soon.
Oh hey, I was wondering, could you clean my sandals for me please? I stepped into something bad at that industrial plant over there, so be careful
"Thinking before you speak" is an important skill to master for all kinds of situations. It can improve your relationships with other people and enable you to express yourself in a more effective way. Start by using the THINK acronym to decide if what you have to say is True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, or Kind. Then,
Should maybe have yelled "Don't Remove The Pole! The building will collapse!" But instead I was using the T.H.I.N.K acronym.
How to get rid of ulcer pain... In this healthcare system, probably
I got How to Get Bulbasaur in PokΓ©mon Yellow, so I guess I should probably avoid that game for a while.
Talk to the one dude in the second town with a happy Pikachu. Ez. I think that's it anyway.
I guess that's pretty close
I'll die trying to rekindle my relationship. So either sexed to death or an unsuccessful attempt at rekindling.
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Uh oh.
I die changing a CV axle.
How did they know I own a Subaru?
How to measure your pants
So there I was Filing Adverse Possession in Texas, when suddenly the fountain pen (an OMAS Limited Edition) slipped and I stabbed myself in an artery, bleeding myself to death
"How to quit a job over text (with examples)"
I hope someone tells my new job I've died!
"How to dispose of mercury"
Huh, that's actually more realistic than I thought
Oh no, I'll die safely cleaning my playstation 5 :(
How to treat a collapsing trachea in chihuahuas
Not sure if I'm the chihuahua or the one treating the chihuahua in this case
Creating the right character in Skyrim ... given my history of creating immaculate Fallout characters, this seems plausible.