this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2024
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[–] recentSloth43@lemmy.world 47 points 1 day ago (9 children)

It's weird how many people on here attribute good grades to being good at everything else in life. Or minimizing the probable and unnecessary struggle some individuals go through to get those good grades because of the system they were put in. I got good grades because i worked many times harder than my peers. I shouldn't have to. No one does. I was privileged enough to have enough resources to do as well as i did. Most people with my condition don't. I've also struggled a lot more at other tasks, and in the work place. But i got good grades, so fuck me right?

[–] spinne@sh.itjust.works 15 points 21 hours ago

Yeah. It's so fucking shortsighted to be like, "Eh, you did fine, look at your grades. You can't be that disabled." Like, you putzes, are you kidding me? If I hadn't been spending all my mental energy clearing all these pointless obstacles, I might have cured fucking pancreatic cancer by now. It's not just about what's convenient for caretakers, teachers, and a health team, it's about being denied the opportunity that most other people are handed without asking to achieve everything they're capable of doing.

[–] OmegaLemmy 15 points 23 hours ago

being good at shit doesn't mean I can have good grades either

My autism allows me to do it work, create servers, host websites and make my own Foss projects

This won't however mean I'll be getting 100 from my chemistry exam just because I can loop hello world a hundred times

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[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 236 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Same with autism.

If you get low grades, off to special ed with you.

High grades? Oh you're just a socially awkward dork or quirky nerd or something.

[–] TheImpressiveX@lemm.ee 64 points 1 day ago

It's like the Halo effect, but with grades.

[–] fossphi@lemm.ee 54 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Goddamn, this innocuous post brought me to tears. Been having a rough time, I guess

[–] whoisearth@lemmy.ca 20 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Hugs.

You can't change the past but you can change the future.

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Can you though? At least in most of the US if you aren't already getting psychological help, you have to pay for it yourself, and will just have to figure out a self medication schedule that works for you.

[–] Ataraxia@lemmy.world 7 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I pay for both a psychiatrist and a psychologist and while my psychologist knows for sure I have ADHD neither of then can prescribe me stimulants so instead I'm on Lexapro so at least I don't have to care.

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 3 points 16 hours ago

Right but your scenario presumes a great deal, and millions of Americans can't pay for therapy, nor the medicines required to live a better quality of life. Even people with "good jobs" can have awful health coverage with enormous deductibles and other hoops to jump through.

And the kicker is that we pay more than any other industrialized country and get the worst ROI because it's all been allowed to be run by private corporations, for maximum profit.

[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 149 points 1 day ago (5 children)

As long as you're not disruptive, they don't give a shit.

[–] freeman@feddit.org 2 points 13 hours ago

Turns out, the teachers just do their job. And most of the time just the bare minimum, just like almost everyone else.

And if you want to teach and a student is a pain and hindering/distracting everyone else, then you kinda have to intervene. If the student isn't motivated/concentrated its easy for the teacher to just say that the student doesnt wanna learn so he gets just bad grades.

At least thats how I see it sometimes.

[–] 3dogsinatrenchcoat@slrpnk.net 8 points 20 hours ago

And if you are disruptive, they diagnose you with odd and beat you to make you shut up. You can't win

[–] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 42 points 1 day ago (8 children)

Truth. I remember being in school in the 90s when they were giving Ritalin to everyone who didn't want to sit still in class. Shit was wild. And then you have me, with a healthy case of ADD but since I wasn't a social butterfly, that just meant I wasn't motivated.

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 3 points 16 hours ago

Consider that the 90s was when most early Boomers had their kids in school, and of course, they didn't want to deal with their children's problems. So yeah, throw some drugs at them, the teacher is always right, and shut up now- Mommy and Daddy are focused on themselves.

[–] AWistfulNihilist@lemmy.world 27 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Oh man, one of my people! My parents, my school, my teachers just watched me fail with an under 1.0 average, while I scored 95th percentile in every standardized test. I was lazy, undisciplined, and unmotivated, and it made me hate myself.

I feel like this would be a red flag now, but back then, even the school counselors were only worried about my impact on other students. Since it was minimal, they let me just stay there and fail... my best friend, who's every bit at sharp as me, got Ritalined into fucking oblivion and put in remedial classes. Jokes on me tho, he got a diploma from HS.

GED is just another standardized test. If I knew how easy it was back in my junior year, I would have saved myself a lot of time and trouble.

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[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 90 points 1 day ago

If you're malleable enough, the machine will mash you into place.

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[–] FartVentriloquist69@sh.itjust.works 11 points 23 hours ago (3 children)

Does anyone else have the incling ADHD and PTSD are the same thing? Human brain thinks it's in danger and kicks into survival mode

[–] meyotch@slrpnk.net 7 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

ADHD can lead to C-PTSD if untreated

[–] EtherWhack@lemmy.world 2 points 14 hours ago

Especially when RSD is present.

[–] RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works 2 points 15 hours ago

Most of the symptoms commonly associated with ASD are shared with PTSD

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[–] Beacon@fedia.io 48 points 1 day ago (9 children)

TBF if any condition isn't causing problems then it doesn't need treatment. Don't get me wrong, ADHD can cause problems beyond just school/work, but often that's one of the most common primary problems it causes

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 56 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Who says it isn’t causing problems? We had a similar issue with my oldest. He is a brilliant kid who can’t get his shit together because of his disability. However he can skate through school.

It was a constant battle to get him services and accommodations, because he “is not failing”. The school system thinks he doesn’t need treatment because he’s not failing. We think he deserves treatment because he isn’t living up to his abilities and struggles to do basic stuff

[–] uniquethrowagay@feddit.org 30 points 1 day ago

Thank you for fighting for your son.

I never really had issues in school, I was doing fine. But teachers kept telling me I wasn't living up to my potential. I was chaotic. Forgetful. Years later, I developed an anxiety disorder I didn't understand so I went to therapy. Turns out I also have chronic depression (oh, life is not so bleak for everyone??) and it's all because of severe ADHD and the attached problems. I'm almost 30 now. And while my therapist did a lot of structured tests, she is not qualified to actually diagnose ADHD. It's gonna be another year until I can get my formal diagnosis and medication.

I often wonder what could have been had the adults in my childhood been more attentive to my -in hindsight- obvious and severe problems.

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[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 33 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Absolutely, and inner conflict, constant struggle and unhappiness counts as a huge problem, even when external appearances are kept and things run relatively smoothly. Internal peace should always be the primary goal, and not just fitting into the gears of routine life.

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[–] Wxfisch@lemmy.world 49 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I mean this is technically right (so the best kind of right) but as someone that got okay grades in school and only passed because I could ace a test on pretty much anything, knowing I had ADHD before I was in my mid 30s, stressing over why work was getting harder and harder and trying to explain to my wife that i genuinely just forget to clean up after a project is done would have been hugely helpful. So diagnosing ADHD in kids and teens getting good grades may end with just therapy as treatment if they are otherwise doing well, knowing that other treatments (like medication) are options if after school they start struggling more. Keep in mind it’s much more difficult to get an ADHD diagnosis as an adult than as a kid.

[–] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 29 points 1 day ago (11 children)

I got diagnosed and medicated at 39. A couple of years go by and I’ve improved my shit enough that I get offered a promotion from tools to office.

“Great”, I think, because I’m finally getting my shit together.

Couple more years have passed, and it turns out that even with medication it’s real fucking hard to be self-led management when you’ve got a brane that is not at all interested in working with you.

Unmedicated me got reasonable grades at school, then managed a respectable 2:1 degree. That would have been a first class degree if I’d been medicated. But all of that shit is basically on rails, people guiding you in the right direction. I don’t have those rails anymore.

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[–] flux@lemmy.world 58 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Wait till you see what they let you do if you're good at sports.

[–] YarHarSuperstar@lemmy.world 25 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Wait till you see what they let you ~~do~~ raw dog if you're good at sports.

Ftfy

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[–] NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 61 points 1 day ago

Pretty much, my mom didn't notice that I had adhd. But my little brother was a poor student, and ended up on several different medications for his adhd.. meanwhile, my mom made fun of me for having like 5 water glasses scattered throughout the house all the time bcz I forgot I had a water glass, and where it was.

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