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Lucky for me my parents were both "I didn't save anything for retirement, my kids will take care of me when I'm older", so I don't have to suffer through this.
I was sexually/otherwise abused by my mother for most of my life. When I brought it up to family, I was basically told to shut up about it/“go to therapy.” They spent thousands torturing me in troubled teen facilities, and provided me with nothing for college (which I paid for with multiple jobs and sex work.)
I will never own a house. I spent almost two years after my divorce to just be able to afford an apartment. My family has never valued me - I will not give them the comfort they denied when it is the end. My entire life has been a hell.
My family tells me "write a book then I will read it" and I just keep thinking:
Assholes, maybe instead just listen to me when I tell my stories you want to ignore so badly.
They couldn't even be bothered to spend thousands on me though and more than once in my life I have just been dropped off at street corners with hopes that I would disappear from their lives.
It sucks. While I may not know you, I know similar pain and know it's never easy. I hope you find comforts in the little things around you.
Watched my mom work her ass off to raise me and save everything she could for retirement. She got to do some fun things, but not enough. I'm glad she had good insurance and a little money saved for when she got sick. I inherited a house with a mortgage, taxes, insurance, and repairs that are bleeding me dry and I'm pulling money out of my retirement to cover it. I'm thankful that it's given my son a decent place to live for the last year and i hope to break even when we sell it. I'm fine with that. I didn't earn it. I didn't take care of her for money. If you're only helping your family because you want money, you suck and they're probably better off without you.
First of all, my parents have never had much if ever at all in the way of savings. Tbh not sure what's going to happen when they aren't going to be able to work anymore.
But I'm with you. I absolutely never understood why people ever feel like they are entitled to their parents money. Your parents earned that, not you. If my parents were never able to leave me a dime, I wouldn't give a shit. Even if they had a million dollars. I didn't earn that. I have no right to someone else's money.
I would feel different in scenarios where we are talking about a minor. If a 12 year old becomes orphaned, then yes, they should 100% be entitled to their parents' funds.
But why in the everliving fuck do people as adults feel entitled to money that is not theirs and they didn't earn? Incredibly bizarre concept to me.
The hospitals and retirement facilities plan to absorb every cent left.
I know poor and wealthy people in every generation. Why aren't we blaming the banks for the 08 crash, the politicians for taking away almost every social service and trying to take away more, and the psychopath CEOs who care about their dick measuring contests every quarter? This generational divide obscures the real issues.
My boomer dad: you probably won't get anything because I'm paying [i.e. using my retirement] to take care of my [100 year old] mother
Me: that's understandable
My father was extremely open about his plans to spend it all. My in laws as well. I did get a small inheritance once, a few thousand dollars from a great grandpa that went to me because the legal battle for it outlived my mom. I hope I get sentimental things from my grandparents because that's the remainder of my incoming inheritance
My dad just died destitute and my mother will probably have nothing when she passes. I’m ok with that, I am my own person. People complaining about losing out on inheritance are fucking spoiled brats. “ you spent the money you worked for? Boo hoo hoo, I wanted your money though “
millennials may miss out
Love how that title makes it sound millennials are somehow to blame
I don't see that. To me it reads as guilt tripping the parents for wanting to spend the money they themselves earned.
Unless things go terribly wrong (and they might) my daughter stands to get a second house and a quarter of a million $
My mom just wanted to make enough to spend it over her lifetime, and that seems fair to me. She got nothing from her parents and had to support her own mom in her old age, and didn't want to cost us anything.
I would argue that inheritance is a huge driver of inequality. I have gotten small amounts from the estate of my dad's parents (my dad died when I was 16) and a childless relative and even those amounts jumped us ahead some, I can imagine what some huge amount unearned would do - but it's just that. Unearned.
Middle class families passing down inheritance is not a driver of inequality.
A dozen individuals controlling 60% of the wealth in America is.
Lucky for me my parents were both "I didn't save anything for retirement, my kids will take care of me when I'm older"
man I feel that. It's like raising a teenager.
"don't do that, it'll infect your PC."
"don't buy from there your card info will be stolen."
"no, Biden isn't going to round us up into camps."
"now we have to call and get you a new debit card."
"please don't buy so much junk food....why? because you have diabetes."
"I got mine."
This is fucking dumb. I told my parents to spend it up. I'm not entitled to it
What's infuriating about this? Why the heck should I inherit something I haven't worked for? I've always told my parents and grandparents that dying with an empty bank balance is the ideal way to go. Hell, preferably be in debt.
It comes from a time where your whole family lived in the same house and the kids eventually take care of their parents. In todays system where people usually dont live with their parents for very long, it doesnt really make sense anymore. People need money long before they get to the age where their parents die. Getting a bunch of money at 30, to establish a life/family, is much more useful and long term impactful than getting it at 50-60. So inheritance is a flawed idea from the start.
Inheritance is a stepping stone to get out of poverty over generations. If the next generation can build upon it.
I’m all for the average retiree spending freely and enjoying what they earned. They spent a lifetime working; it’s their money. Inheritance issues create way too many family disputes.
No one should expect to inherit anything when their loved ones die.
The worst people are those that are too lazy to build something on their own, but sit around praying for their parents death so they can inherited and live an easy life.
My aunt talked her mom out of kitchen remodel because it's going to cost so much (that she'll get smaller ineritance then) while my grandmom, who already spends most of her time alone at home then can't even spend her savings to make her surroundings a bit nicer.
not eveyone get inheritances. what we need is social safety nets and to collect taxes on wealth.