I’ll never forget the day in elementary school where I saw a kid casually put his mouth directly on the spout. Then it dawned on me: “There are probably others like him.”
this post was submitted on 18 Dec 2024
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Did you by chance grow up in Pawnee? relevant Parks and Recreation clip
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We had something like the first one when I was in high school. When I was a freshmen, I saw another student drop his pants, hop up on top of it, lower into the spout so it went ALL the way up his ass, reached around and turned the water on for a second, then lifted off and shot a wave of shit-water all over the basin/wall behind it, then hopped down and ran off giggling.
Yeah...
Haven't used a water fountain since.
How do I unlearn to read?
Edit: Solved!
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I'm afraid you actually unlearned to write. Are you sure you really can't read what I'm saying?
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..huh?
..what..?
Public high school in a sketchy area. You'll see some things.
I also don’t, simply because my high school had a string of vandalism where some kid was pulling all of the water fountains out of the walls. Like he was just ripping them straight out. There’s no way they could support someone putting their entire body weight on it to shove the spout up their ass.
Your school's infrastructure was apparently even shittier than mine. In any case, he was a skinny little high schooler - that thing could have been screwed into drywall and still supported his weight.
...and if you don't think a water fountain spout could fit up someone's ass, I've got some foreign object removal stories from working in the OR that... well, you probably also wouldn't believe, but you'd be amazed what an anal sphincter can accommodate.
amaze me, i wana hear OR stories
Butt stuff doesn't come to the OR all that often - I think the ER handles 99% of those. We only take the worst of the worst, when forceps alone just aren't enough and the patient requires anesthesia.
On that note, the most impressive example in terms of diameter I've been in was a Nerf basketball kinda thing - cantelope-sized ball of that firm foam. Even with the compression of the foam, I would not have guessed it would have been possible for someone to get that up their ass, but one dude found a way. ...or, maybe his 'friends' found a way while he was passed out or something - didn't get the backstory on it, but the logstics behind making that happen would have to be a 2+ person job.
Anyway, getting the basketball out wasn't too crazy - just pulled chunks of foam out until it was in small enough pieces to yank out the rest. The impressive part was the monolith of poop that followed it - idk how long the dude waited between getting the nerf ball stuck up there and actually seeking help from a hospital, but... I don't think I personally produce that much shit in over a week. That didn't come out easy either - the colon reabsorbed like all of the water content from the poop, leaving it all as kind of a hard sandstone texture, so we had to chisel away at that like some kind of rectal archeologists until we got deep enough past the hardened section; then a massive log of more normal looking shit evicted itself and the extraction part was done.
Then we stuck a camera up his ass and inspected the distal bit of bowel for tears, which there miraculously were none.
So... PSA: if you want to stick something up your ass, go get a sex toy that's actually made for that with a widened base so it doesn't get stuck in there.
Thx for that story, ima better cancel my Nerfball order now....
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Not even remotely the same but in the 90's mcdonalds still had salt and pepper shakers on the tables. I knew a guy who loved throwing them in the bag when he got up from the table along with the ten straws he grabbed and wad of napkins. He really was under some serious financial stress in no way due to anything he had done. I refused to use the salt and pepper shakers at his house and he kept bugging me as to why. I told him he didn't want to know but he insisted. Finally I told him about the time I saw some kids going from table to table licking the tops of the shakers. He immediately threw them all away. Later they started to reappear and it was because he figured out at the first of the month they replaced them and the new one usually had the seal left on them.
Before you trash the guy for doing that. The guy made 80 grand one year and could barely afford food. All that money went to paying his wife's medical bills. She had grown up inside the boundary of a superfund site out in new mexico and had all kinds of tumors and other problems. It was called a pre existing condition and his insurance wouldn't pay for hardly anything. They finally divorced so she could get SSI. That was in the early 2000's. This country sucked then and it still sucks.
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Australia rejects your hierarchy.
Like cattle to the trough
And there's always one that some kid shoved a piece of mulch in so it sprays everywhere.
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I work in the industry and I have no idea why anyone would use anything other than the EZH2O for indoors. The other ones aren't even any cheaper.
This comment just made me realize that the EZH20 is both the model type as well as a description of what it does lol
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and at least on the EZH2O you can see the quality of the filter that hasn't been replaced since twas installed
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These things and kitchen sink blenders are the two most mysterious things for an European child watching US-Shows.
Why don’t y’all have water fountains?
I at least understand the water fountains and experienced them a few times here and there but the sink blender waiting to chop your fingers is a total mystery.
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a class a few years ahead of me got one of the ezh2os as their senior gift. probably the most used senior gift I've ever seen, we were a small school and everyone used it every day. I think it hit 500,000 uses by the time I graduated a few years later
LMABF8 had the coldest water. I'm all for the EZH20 because I carry a bottle around with me and it's less likely to spread germs and causes less waste, but I feel like the water coming out of them is barely chilled. I like my water to be so cold it is borderline painful when I am drinking it.
Nothing hit as hard as coming out of gym class in high school and getting some fresh gulps of ice cold water from the LMABF8. Peak refreshment.
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I dunno what they put in those newer buttons, but they feel so satisfying XD
*Chnk* oh hell ya here comes the water
Honestly — how is this not just simple stealth product placement?
I assume this meme was originally made by some hydro homie with a special interest, since it's not the type of product marketed to individuals.
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The germaphobia in me really want a version that is activated by a pedal that you step on.
But then, I'd probably be too afraid of shared water fountains to begin with.
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it's funny that I've seen all of these in real life, though I rarely ever used them due to the obvious hygiene issues
I actually hate the EZH2O. When you go to drink it activates the bottle stream in the back and reduces the water pressure so you have to go down further to drink. Well when you do that the bottle stream turns off and the water pressure goes back to normal and you get blasted in the face full force. Reminds me of my college days.
Reminds me of my college days.
Getting blasted in the face full force?
Is this a sponsorred post?
If so @The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world what's the takeaway?
Big water fountain is targeting Lemmy.
They know their target demo, we're all hydrohomies here.
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Unless you are stuck in an all-day meeting with hundreds of stressed out, immunocompromised, most likely sick people all wanting to drink from the EZH2O/EZS8L pair next to the closet bathroom and there is a pair of VRCHDTL8SC down the hall and you are going on a two week Christmas vacation at the end of the meeting.
Then the VRCHDTL8SC is the boss.
EZH2O WHEEEEZE
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