Ask Lemmy

Trump will take a hero dose of acid, there’s no other way

People are going to say Trump and Putin and all that shit, but I'm going to control my boss and have him double my salary.

Make the Pope announce his conversion to Buddhism (and declare it an infallible doctrine of faith, ex cathedra).

Okay, I've had a nice nap, so here's the answer: I'd take over Putin's body, demand the nearest person's gun, and rid the world of him (Putin) once and for all.

I would save it for an armed person protecting a full cabinet meeting after january 15th.

take over Trump on inauguration day just as he's about to take the oath. claim the election was rigged in my favor by the Russians and everyone I know was in on it also that I'm (he) a Russian spy. call all magas mentally retarded and they should drink bleach to cleanse the world of their filth.

finally take a swan dive down the stairs and break my neck.

Not a lot you can do in one minute. Maybe a tweet? so would have to take the muskrat.

"After a discussion with president elect orange turdball I will be shutting down X January next year, you can find me over on Truth Social"

Then sign him out of twitter from each device in range.

Make Putin jump through a high rise window.

The person who approves or denies new shows on Netflix or something and then spend the next minute approving as many animated shows as I can.

Inb4 and during Trump + gun

That'd take more than a minute.

Take over a billionaire and tell assistant to transfer 5m to real me and never mention it again or he will be fired.

Take over Clearance and have him shoot kegStand. Based on the timing, the next 58 seconds can be a sick rant about guns.

If sleepy Joe is on the ball, he'll have two young replacements in mind.

The only people it would be ethical to use this on are those in permanent vegetative states... and myself.

I think I'd opt for one minute of true self-control. Maybe I could overclock myself or something. Never know until you try.

Have Trump take off his diaper on TV and say "my smol wee wee has poo poo on it, me sad"

Probably one of musks 50 body guards.

I would control King Charles and have him order the dissolution of the empire.

Some crypto bro bastard is about to lose their holdings...

I'd control Biden and have him do his job by executing the traitors that are a legitimate threat to the US constitution.

Make someone edit the balance of my bank account. I think you can buy a lot of things, including further immoral services with cash. I hope there is someone who can do it in 1 minute and doesn't require any review by other people.

I don't think it's possible to pull that off. There might be tools to send SMS to every active number but figuring out how that software works takes way more than 1min. Even if you also get the knowledge there might be several security measures in place, like additional approvement before sending.

I would control Putin and check the famous russian window.

Biden: order seal team to take out any and all known associates to the MAGA movement. Do this under extreme secrecy and urgency, using all classified information related. Also any controlling parties to the GOP and DNC.

Mitch first for old times sake.

Make someone kill me tbh

Make this useless toxic twat at work do something so stupid she'd be fired immediately and never be able to get her job back.

As Netanyahu start screaming in to the nearest camera.

"This is the one true voice of God, Of course this man commits genocide! His final solution to Palestinians is to smite every hospitals, school and refugee until none remain! Those that help him kill shall be damned with him. Repent!"

Figure that is immposible for him to explain away and would end his support. Killing him wouldn't stop the killing, but discrediting him among the religious might.

Only downside is it would cement religion as a fact, but I guess if I got magic possession powers then it end my skeptical agnosticism about higher powers anyways.