No Stupid Questions

Basically it's self fulfilling if say that. You can believe all that i do too but I don't say it becomes a forgone conclusion as that will make it happen for sure. My thoughts on it are. if it's going to happen im gone to make it as hard as I can for the people that are making it happen and the closer we get to it happening the more radical my actions will become. I will help my community where I can and do my best to make the people responsible pay for their actions. I would read about community network building.

Also there is a YouTube channel Beau of the fifth column that has a lot of great advice. I know the name makes it sound like a crazy person but it's not. They put the news into perspective and talk about ways to help your community. When the government and other social structures are gone.

Also if you want to talk I would be happy to be your penpal.

I don't know what will happen. It is as much a curse as it is a blessing. Uncertainty is uncomfortable for me, but that very same uncertainty is why I keep going.

The alternative seems really boring.

My dog can’t feed herself. My family seems to like having me around.

Get off of social media. Other than here I really keep my news to computer stuff that interests me

Oh I gave up like 15 years ago.

Curiosity, so I observe. I believe we have control over nothing and that free will is an illusion. Consciousness is a mystery, as much my own as the one I suppose others have. In the middle of the chaos, I sometimes see glimpses of beauty, in many forms: music, images, people's behaviour, fiction, maths, nature... So I observe , I try to find patterns, to understand how things work, why others do what they do. I have found beauty in the very little things, what used to be chores I now enjoy, they were chores because "I thought I had better more important things to do", I wanted to be "later" but now I know what matters is to live in the moment, and I'll be living the next moment later.

Social media, the news, they are trying to grab your attention and project you to the future, what is the next threat, when are you likely to die or suffer. The truth is: we are all going to be dead eventually, it can be for many reasons, it can be in the next hour, or in thousands of years, we cannot know when, but we all know it will happen, doesn't really help to worry too much about it.

Don't waste your life trying to prevent your inevitable death. Enjoy it while you can. The rest is mostly out of your control anyway.

I have no hope, only fantasies that people will come to their senses someday. Hope? Nah.

Setting aside my depressive episodes and a few signals of impending doom, I look out my window and see a world that is still generally okay around me. That tells me I'm still in a position to go out and try to improve things.

For instance, my family and I got through COVID. To me, that's a kind of privilege, because I certainly know others who weren't so fortunate. So I'm doing my part to ensure another pandemic like that doesn't happen again, or at least isn't so impactful.

My partner and her cat

Strike that. Reverse it.

My lack of motivation prevents me from ending it all.

Stop caring and all of the problems go away, as if by magic. The amount of emotional energy that people put into issues that they're unlikely to ever face is unbelievably wasteful.

There is this video that reminds me that there is no natural law that determines that things will only get better. Yet we have to find purpose. I am not hopeful, but I am happy for everyone that tries to do the right thing. We're in this together even if everything goes to shit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJaE_BvLK6U

My friends, family, drawing, having a nice home to live in, good food and fun stuff to do ❤️ I try and avoid negativity by searching for things I'm interested in to engage with, such as art, nature photography, cat photos, and videogames. Some websites let you tailor your feed to your liking!

Look, If I'm going down, I'm going down kicking and screaming.

Most of the stuff you read doesn’t matter. What matters is how you treat people. Eat good food and smile, enjoy the rays of the sun which burn us all equally. Bask in a hot shower. Go outside, where you can’t see any other people for a few hours, and listen to the sounds.

Gaming with the homies. I ought to be able to get a couple dogs one day. I'm getting better at cooking. I meet new and amazing people every now and then.

I do my best to steer the world in the direction I'd like to see it go, and I try take pride in the effort, not in the results. The destination might look dark now but you can still enjoy the journey. I hope that makes sense.

I wouldn't say I'm completely hopeful or doomed, the world is filled with terror and beauty. There are no gods or kings it's just people. Historic and scientific education can help reduce anxiety about the unknown, change your own beliefs and behaviors to improve the situation locally before joining organizations looking to make broader changes. Learn what your fears are and face them, otherwise it will cloud your judgement and influence your decision making process.

Antidepressants

That at any time I want, I can opt out.

I don't have to stay here and put up with the bullshit if I don't want to.

That's also a possibility where I could do something useful by taking someone else out with me, if I can manage to get it done.

You have no idea how freeing it is to be okay with death. When you cease fearing it and look at it as a welcome friend, everything changes.

Now it is important to realize that this is not a desire to die. It's simply accepting that death is inevitable, and that it is possible to choose when and how I die, if that's something that seems useful. Life isn't inherently sacred, there's no special glory in not dying, there's no particular benefit to sticking around other than more of the same that's already happened.

This means that every day is a choice. It's something I own. I have alternatives. We all do, but I'm aware of that fact in a way that makes even the truly horrible much less impressive.

Again, this is entirely different from wanting to off myself, it isn't depression. It's just the way I see things.

In these difficult times I find that all I need is spending some time with my loved ones, enjoying my old favorite media and games and sharing them with my daughter, and nightly cuddles from my beautiful monster of a cat while I read web serials to unwind.

Well, those things and also cannabis and escorts. And pizza. Keeps me going.

I think I may still be riding the hype of things like the JWST, and fusion energy breakthroughs. Our societies may be back sliding at the moment, but our species is still doing some amazing things.