Wait, how is this a thing? Were they -ahem- draining the men before the flights..?
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2024-11-11
Wank in a cup pre flight and wank in a cup after.
You'd also need to repeat the experiment as a control (ideally still doing as much of the same things to account for other variables). For best accuracy you'd need the same group returning another day, going through the same boarding process without takeoff, and tracking the exact time between wanks.
And the Worst Job in 2024 goes to:
Drumroll
Assistant to the Post Flight Fluffer!
Probably pays pretry good.
I would unironically enjoy my job if i made 150k+ a year just to jack off men for science
Post Flight Fluffer:
"You guys get paid..?!"
Assistant Post Flight Fluffer
Can we please stop pretending that future space colonists will live their whole lives in microgravity? Nobody seriously suggests that as an option, that's stupid. Countless studies have shown that for proper biological development, humans (and in fact nearly all organisms) need gravity. But for large space stations, spin gravity is actually not that freaking hard. If you can create a large enough station to support a sizable colony, it does not take much more engineering to make it spin.
Imagine turning on a black light inside the Vomit/Semen Comet.
We're never getting off this rock. Lol
I really hope not. Looking at how humanity has managed this world, I think it’s for the best if the laws of physics and biology are such that we’re never able to escape our solar system.
After sparing this paper a fair bit of attention I feel I've wasted it.
Nowhere in the paper could i find in what conditions the test samples were kept during the experiment. This is pretty basic stuff. At this stage I'd wage sloshing was the issue.
Reading this part of the methodology:
"2.2 Initial sperm analysis
After liquefaction...
[Two paragraphs later, in the same section: ] After this first analysis, the 15 sperm samples were split into two fractions. All the samples were exposed to 'Parabolic flight' (split 1) and to..."
Did they liquefied the samples and tested like that? Whaa?
The "After this first analysis" should not be in the "2.2 Initial sperm analysis". It just shouldn't!
Then I think "15 sperm samples were split into two fractions". ... "the samples were exposed to 'Parabolic flight' (split 1)"
splits, fractions, what a mess!! At this stage I've wasted enough.
The paper should be retracted, the reviewers spanked and the editor fired.
the reviewers spanked
likely not much of a punishment for these perverts
Sloshing? On a vomit comet? Naw...
A few seconds of microgravity? Something sounds off, that would probably be enough to be seen in parachutists and fighter pilots. I think I'm going to wait for the peer review on this one...
Also can we stop trying to figure out how humans are going to survive off earth... Until we at least make earth livable again? Like "Genius of the Century" Elon Musk is pouring billions into trying to get man to Mars while actively helping to making earth unlivable.
Like no one should be allowed to leave this rock until it either becomes Paradise or worse than fucking Mars!
No?
If you're going to call for the stopping of advancement of science while we figure out how to not be horrible we might as well just cash it out now.
Methinks they've given up on earth.
i dont think anyone is going to survive if they try to leave permanently, not with this level of technology. Or if they do they will just suffer
Who'd have thought a headline could contain all those words
I'm dyslexic and for a moment I was like. Why would you take people who work on boats on the vomit comet? Is it to see if their sealegs transfer to space?
ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ disorders can be fun sometimes...
Ps. Someone should do that study I mentioned.
Sperm concussion?
I was dropped on my head before i was even born.
I was dropped on my head before i was even ~~born~~ conceived.
Ftfy ;-)
Why do you think baseball teams sell those mini batting helmets?
comparing an existing sample exposed to small doses of micro-gravity seems incredibly... useless.. compared to sperm generated in space. how can they even begin to use it to make generalizations on 'long term human space colonization'?
incredibly... useless.. compared to sperm generated in space
That's what I don't get. Transporting fresh sperm is not an issue that anyone cares about in space colonization. Sperm will get there in two ways: frozen or made on the spot.
Especially considering the samples were exposed to supergravity as the plane came out of its dive. I feel like that would mostly invalidate whatever they were hoping to find.
Also, why do they dismiss asking ISS staff to participate in studies? Bodily autonomy doesn't mean you can't ask someone to conduct .. uh... research with you. It just means you have to respect it they say no. Astronauts seem like the types who wouldn't mind putting in a little extra effort for... science.
Also, why do they dismiss asking ISS staff to participate in studies? Bodily autonomy doesn’t mean you can’t ask someone to conduct … uh… research with you. It just means you have to respect it they say no. Astronauts seem like the types who wouldn’t mind putting in a little extra effort for… science.
Too many other introduced variables? Microgravity has a lot of other systemic effects on the astronauts that might affect sperm motility, even before effects to the sperm themselves. Or just individual variation/genetics on the part of the astronauts themselves.
They wouldn't be able to get a sperm sample that wasn't affected by microgravity from the astronauts to begin with.
Oh no, maybe this will stop us finding another planet to ruin.
gravity load
Literally (fiction) speaking, I've randomly gambled on ~10 generations max before the population crashes if a generation ship arrives and fails to complete an O'Neill cylinder on the other side.
Sound legit? 4am, going to bed, so no read.
Jokes on you, that’s my kink