this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2024
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chapotraphouse

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It's almost as pointless as actually voting! 😱

i-voted

Results will be posted in another thread after the election, but you can see the score as it unfolds live!

EDIT: ITS OVER, RESULTS BEING POSTED SOON

top 33 comments
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[–] Frank@hexbear.net 20 points 2 months ago

I tried to vote for Moo Deng but it kept changing my results to Dirt_Owl.

[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (3 children)

i'll do an illegal vote and write in Joe Biden, he is the goat and Im still riding with biden

[–] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

We’re going off the rails on a Biden train! Biden/Hillary 2028

[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

train

disgost excuse me? a filthy public transporting vehicle? we'll drive him with our massive truck nutted city jeeps, like real americans eagle screech thank you very much sounds of shooting and an american flag unfolding

[–] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago

Good point, make that "Going off the four lane highway in a Shelby Ford F-150 (5.0 liter V8, 785 HP)".

[–] the_post_of_tom_joad@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Apropos of nothing did ya know the eagle screech your ethinking of is actually a hawk screech? Bald eagles sound pretty dumb in comparison, more chirpy

[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

i am aware yeah, it's very fitting for amerikka tbh even the most iconic 'murica sound is fake data-laughing

[–] Ram_The_Manparts@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

He's the only one that can beat Drumpf!

[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

He's done it once before! Drag his corpse over the finish line! Joe Joe Joe!!

[–] Blockocheese@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hillary Clinton is right there

[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 8 points 2 months ago

You're right, she is right there....FOR ME TO POOP ON!! lmao owned

[–] Thordros@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Poll sucks, there's no option for genocide.

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 29 points 2 months ago

Wdym the democrats are right there

[–] glimmer_twin@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I’ve slowly been eroded from thinking trump is gonnna win to accepting the smug lib victory. The fact it’s even close is an indictment on the demonrats

[–] SoyViking@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago

The democrats winning would be the most boring and also the most annoying outcome, thereby also making it the most likely.

Republicans winning would be the most funny outcome which could, by some metrics, be interpreted as a positive outcome, thereby making it less likely to happen.

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Imagine doing this badly against Trump lmao fucking clowns

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 16 points 2 months ago

And having ZERO self awareness, contrition, doubt, anything, about that. 8 years after a celebrity candidate they viewed as quasi-divine ate shit there's still no reckoning with the fact that they're losing, even breaking even, with a feckless gameshow host.

[–] Hestia@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I think the fact that it's close means that the Republicans will win. While Dems are good at rigging the primary, Republicans are better at rigging the general

[–] Palacegalleryratio@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

PSL even losing on hexbear smh

[–] VHS@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

it's prediction not wish-casting

[–] Palacegalleryratio@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago

I know that , I was joking. But no everything has to be serious at all times and we cannot find any humor in the absurdity of hell world. The last time I smiled was on August 19th, 1991. I wear a dirty ushanka at all times, do not shave, and only take cold sponge baths because hot running water is bourgeoisie decadence. Every day at exactly noon I have the same meal of an expired Maoist MRE I store in a pit covered in old issues of a revolutionary newspaper. I sleep in a bed made of flags from every failed revolution so that they are never forgotten. In the evenings I stare at a picture of vodka by candlelight, but I do not allow myself to drink because there is nothing to celebrate. Every local org has banned me after I attempted to split it by assassinating the leadership. There is no plumbing in my house I shit in a brass bucket with a picture of Gonzalo and Deng french kissing in the bottom of it. My house is actually an overturned T34 in an abandoned junkyard in Wisconsin. I have a single friend in this world and it is a tapeworm named Bordiga that I met after ingesting spoiled borscht on 9/11 in the ruins of building 7 (I blew it up after finding that a nominally leftist NGO inside of it wasn’t sufficiently anti-imperialist, the attacks on the world trade center were a perfect revolutionary moment for me to enact direct praxis against liberalism). My source of income is various MLM schemes in the former soviet bloc that have been running for so long no one remembers who I am, they just keep sending money. I have not paid taxes since McGovern lost the Democratic nomination for president and my faith in electoralism died more brutally than my childhood dog after it got into an entire jar of tylenol. I own 29 fully automatic rusted kalashnikovs and three crates of ammunition entirely incompatible with them or any other firearms I own. My double PHD in marxist economics and 18th century Swiss philosophy (required to understand Engels) sits over the fireplace of my home, my fireplace is a salvaged drum from a 1950s washing machine that was recalled for locking children inside of it. I chose that washing machine model on purpose because I am anti-natalist. During the latest BLM protests I firebombed a Nikes outlet in the middle of a peaceful candlelit vigil. William F Buckley and I wrote hatemail to one another for 47 years until my final letter gave him an aneurysm. The only water I drink is from puddles. George Lucas and I dropped acid together during an MKULTRA southern baptist summer camp and he went on to write the movie Willow about our time together. The best way to test whether an electrical wire is live is to drool on it and shrimp salad is racist. You can make an IED out of potassium and the instructions are online thanks to Timothy McVey, who was actually a committed antifascist communist slandered by the deep state as part of operation condor. Every time a liberal files a restraining order against me, I carve a mark into the wall. I am running out of walls. When Amerika finally collapses I will be ready to lead the revolution. I am very smart and people like being around me.

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

To be fair people are voting that they think I'm more likely to win than the democrats last time I looked lol

So speaking of guessing n stuff does anyone wonder if the news agencies will make genocide+1 a real thing by actually showing the horrors of Gaza with trump in power? Wait, now that I've typed it i don't even think so, its more important to keep us crackers calm and let the killing continue.

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 15 points 2 months ago

Trump is gonna win mark my words

[–] shath@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

pokemon go eat some moles

[–] Luna@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago

maybe-later-kiddo sorry sweaty, but I'm with Her.

[–] macabrett@lemmy.ml 11 points 2 months ago

I've never heard of most of these candidates. I haven't paid attention to politics for 6 months. You know I'm gonna give my boy Biden a second term!!!!!!!!

[–] The_sleepy_woke_dialectic@hexbear.net 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I filled in every bubble because I want everyone to work together. I'm through with this divisiveness polarizing our country.

CIVILITY!!! ECHO echo ~echo~

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

why can't I write in Biggs? biggs

[–] Mardoniush@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

No split college and corrupt bargain?

[–] Zuzak@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago

Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos

[–] Vernon_Tennessee@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Kamala.

Only because if Trump represents the culmination of problems we have to deal with under capitalism; Kamala represents putting those problems off and not dealing with them as long as possible.