this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2024
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192
How to make toast (lemmy.world)
submitted 5 days ago by AplasticAenima@lemmy.world to c/imageai@sh.itjust.works
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[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 10 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

To make toast, follow these simple instructions:

  1. partially unplug the power cable from the toaster and pinch its cheeks.

2 plug the cable part of the way in and apply two or three cocktail fork fulls of semen. Place a dish of butter nearby.

3, Plug the cable into the top of the toaster, plug a different cable into the bottom. Insert a slice of bread into one of the slots. Swap the butter for a small dish of ketchup.

4 Swap the ketchup for a jar of duck sauce, fondle the bread.

  1. Swap the jar of duck sauce for a scalpel and the tweezers from a swiss army knife. Tell the bread "Ah c'mon you."

2 Unplug the toaster completely, get a Pez dispenser, and turn the bread...sideways?

  1. Plug the toaster back in, get a different dish of butter, pinch the bread.

  2. Scrape the bread with a fork on a worried tray near a concerned butter knife.

Serve on a plate with losenges, coffee, whippets and coffee.

Lemmy aggressively wants to correct my numbering scheme. Could we just scrap markup formatting entirely on this platform? It fucks up more than it helps.

[–] hoch@lemmy.world 71 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Decided to try this myself, lol

Toast until toaster

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 18 points 5 days ago

This is way better.

[–] praise_idleness@sh.itjust.works 15 points 5 days ago

how to make the toastest?

[–] Randelung@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

◉⁠‿⁠◉

[–] Gbagginsthe3rd@aussie.zone 28 points 5 days ago (4 children)

I always forget step 2. Making sparks with the fork.

[–] Lookorex@lemm.ee 22 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Don't forget step 2, putting the bread in sideways

[–] tal@lemmy.today 20 points 5 days ago

This confuses the toaster so that it can't tense up its slots for step 2, where you jam the bread in the regular way.

[–] merde@sh.itjust.works 8 points 5 days ago

which step 2?

[–] xia@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 5 days ago

Lol... step #2 is ambiguous.

[–] nnullzz@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago

It looks like something else… spread into the toaster. Makes sense with AI being a /machine and all that.

[–] Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 4 days ago

I like the numbering:

1 2 3 4 3 2 2 1 coke

[–] xorollo@leminal.space 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Obviously we are ready to fire all the teachers and let ai teach the little humans. Keep one teacher per 80 kids just to make sure nobody's dying. At least until we get the matrix vats in place.

[–] vertigofilip@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

That's odd thing to say. This is image generation AI, and people are talking about AI chatbots being used in schools. They are likely not ready for that task either, but image generation AI has almost nothing to do with that.

[–] xorollo@leminal.space 2 points 3 days ago

The image is teaching us how to do something.

[–] Mango@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I like that I can tell it's AI because the toaster itself isn't copy pasted. There's something different going on with the wire for each one.

[–] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 days ago

I like how in the second step two, the toaster becomes wireless, and in the second step one, it transforms into a serving platter

[–] Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 5 days ago

That toaster is remarkably consistent.

[–] WastingCommentSpace@sh.itjust.works 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I see nothing wrong with this.

[–] lurch@sh.itjust.works 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

T-800 asking "What's wrong with Wolfie?" over the phone to determine if the T-1000 has replaced the mother

[–] WastingCommentSpace@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I dont know anything about terminator because i dont care about it and think its stupid so i will reply with "toast"

[–] lurch@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

😄 All movies about time travel (so the Terminator franchise as well) are extremely inaccurate and far fetched for sci-fi, so you're not wrong. Still, it's very entertaining epic action.

However, in this scene he's basically doing an audio CAPTCHA to determine, if he's speaking to another Terminator.

My point is (meant as a joke): You agreeing with that picture raises the suspicion you're also a machine. (Maybe even a Terminator. Who knows.)

[–] WastingCommentSpace@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 days ago

We are all machines. But if i were to shill any movies or franchises about ai domination i would shill the tv show "NEXT" from fox as well as dune. As those are thousands of times more accurate and realistic. The terminators alone are inaccurate. And we are all actively living thru the events prior to the butlerian jihad irl. And most people arent aware of this which is personally far more entetaining than terminators ever could be.

[–] M0oP0o@mander.xyz 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)

This reminds me of the short film it's such a beautiful day about losing ones mind/cognitive ability.

So good job!

[–] exocortex@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 4 days ago

Nicely done!

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Third one on the second row got me good. Huh??? The bread won't fit in the toaster sideways???

[–] lime@feddit.nu 3 points 4 days ago

whole-loaf toaster

[–] Pothetato@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago (2 children)

So hard to decide on the spread. Butter? Ketchup? Mustard? Might need this cotter pin at some point...and a swiss army knife... eh butter is fine. Et voila.

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 4 days ago

Did you kiss those 2 finger nail trims? They go best with mustard though.

[–] A7thStone@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

Shaving cream and strawberries, but they were to lazy to put it on the toast.

[–] WhatsHerBucket@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago

Immediately reminded me of flying toasters.

[–] dance_ninja@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Obviously incorrect, but honestly this is kinda impressive the amount of detail it added in.

[–] AceBonobo@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

Even managed to count to 4