Asklemmy

I used to think all food for adults were called Sad Meals, as opposed to Happy Meals (like at McDonald's).

I thought some wild stuff as a child that feels more fantastical than strictly dumb. Like I thought everyone was psychic except me and could hear my thoughts. I thought time worked differently depending on who I talked with. I thought the earth was both flat or round depending on where you were standing. I'd often get dreams and reality confused too. For some reason I thought dogs were people who had been cursed into becoming pets, probably because of me seeing the donkeys from Pinocchio. I thought half of people were robots fueled by pieces of the sun they'd pluck out of the sky.

This one is common, but I thought water simply phased through your body if you touched it. There was an episode of Bill Nye where he mentions that water "goes through your hand" and says it just like that. So I thought water simply phased through hands.

I think I was just abused as a kid and neglected

Other than organized religion, you mean?

Probably that cops are benevolent keepers of the peace and that putting humans in cages decreases crime.

I thought the priest at church was Jesus.

If I had to pee really bad I would eat bread or crackers because it would absorb the pee and not make me have to go.

Step dad convinced me that those chocolate oranges were natural from a chocolate orange tree..

Professional wrestling was real

Because of Barbie dolls, I used to believe that girls didn't have nipples

I thought that actors on TV shows and movies were acting in real time, and that they had a special ability to do the exact same thing over and over again.

As I grew in the Spanish speaking world, I also believed that Hollywood actors spoke Spanish, and that their voices changed dramatically only by switching languages.

My mom told us that microwaves are bad for our health due to radiation. I did not want a microwave in my own apartment until I was 20 and my GF just got one.

My mother used to tell me that the jehovas witnesses had like a blacklist of households that they are forbiden from knocking on their doors since their inhabitants are unsalvable (and are going to hell according to the list but mom didnt say that) and that the peerequisits of being added to the list was not opening the door when they came to pester our house hold.

We laughed a lot about this until one day i bring it up back again and shes like "what are you talking about m8?, Theres no such thing, i made that up, i cant believe you belived that was a thing." And then she started laughing at me and made fun of that the whole day but like in a good way.

That my parents were people I could trust.

I noticed there was always a gust of wind after cars passed, so I concluded wind was caused by invisible cars driving by. Storms were caused by the invisible drivers driving too fast.

I used to go outside during storms and yell at them to slow down. I was convinced it was working.

I believed in the American Civic Religion.

Parents told me if I could get salt on a birds tail I'd be able to catch it.

Pretty sure they told me that shit to at least increase the challenge of actually catching birds so I didn't try to bring one in.

I live in Ontario and Quebec was undergoing a referendum to leave Canada when I was a kid. I asked my Dad if Canada would still be the second biggest country if Quebec left.

He was impressed by the insightful question, but in reality I thought Quebec was just the tiny town where my Grandma lived.

I thought answering machines were something just made up by TV shows because we never had an answering machine.

That if I went to Planet Hollywood for dinner I would definitely meet Arnold Schwarzenegger.

I learned how planes work before cars, so since faster cars always had more exhaust pipes than slower cars I presumed the concept of thrust was similar to a jet engine and had no idea that the wheels themselves were powered until I mentioned it when I was like 6-7.

That eggs are made in factories. I still haven't made peace with this, and lurk around egg equivalents (I'm not vegan).

Also when I was in kindergarden, I had terrible idea about how the map of our village looks like.

When I was little people said dogs would sniff you to figure out who you are. I thought when a dog smells you they know your name, address, ...

And maybe they do?

I used to think Parkinson's disease was named after TV chat show host Michael Parkinson.

I thought that there was one guy named Michael J---son who used his fame as an NBA star to launch a career as pop singer, radically changing his appearance in the process. I don't think I realized they were different people until high school.

That the WWF was real

Santa, Easter bunny, tooth fairy, god, etc

When I was little, I used to think that before I was born (1977), people and the world in general were in black and white. All the photos I had of my family before my birth were in black and white.