this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2024
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[–] SmoothOperator@lemmy.world 43 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Looking great! Genuine cis question, when I come across fabulous looking trans people, I get really conflicted, I want to look and admire and wonder and praise, but I'm nervous that they'd really just like to blend in and not be ogled. I guess I often end up "staunchly not looking". What'd you prefer if it was you?

[–] socialpankakemix@lemmy.blahaj.zone 32 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

not op, but personally im never opposed so somebody complimenting me as long as it comes across as a genuine compliment (ex: i like your style/outfit/vibe) and not somebody just trying to hit on me or something.

(edit: lol actually i love to be hit on im a slut but shhhhhh)

[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

Hey baby, looking fit .. ;)

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm ace and sex-repulsed, so I don't much appreciate getting hit on, but I mostly just hope I get compliments from other cool queers (which usually happens; it's just cishets with their razor sharp focus and katalepsis-esque inability to see).

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[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 2 months ago

Before I was on hormones and maybe in the first 6 - 8 months on HRT, I had so many usually cis, white, liberal women (one time a cis white liberal dude) come up to me and compliment my dress / skirt / whatever. I take it as a sign I'm passing more that nobody does that anymore, lol.

[–] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I think it's important how it comes across, like when you're complimenting cis people. So, context and what it is that you're complimenting is what I would pay attention to.

That being said, I love getting compliments haha.

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[–] SayJess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 months ago

It’s pretty nuanced, I think. I pass well enough (or not really, I don’t care anymore) and just want to be left alone. I’m sure the compliments come from a place of support, but it just feels like being lied to.

I’m probably an outlier. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 26 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Another of the CIS horde spilling in from All, checking in...

If you catch me staring, it's cuz you look like a Witcher. All you're missing is a sword or two.

10/10

 

Bonus pts for the bone conduction! I got a pair a few months ago and fucking love em.

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm actually aiming for more of a modern-to-future Final Fantasy aesthetic! I've other outfit photos elsewhere buried in my post history.

(Oh and this weekend I'm wearing a literal white mage coat to the symphony!)

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[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Also my god, bone conduction is lifesaving. A dynamic score that only I can hear? Hell yeah.

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[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I've been talking a lot in therapy recently about how "passing" is becoming a moot concept. That used to be the goal of transition back in my day (2000's) but nowadays people are just free to pursue whatever their ideal self is regardless of what society deems as "passing". I struggled with this concept for a long time - I thought, "but what if the people around me know I'm Trans?" and he has been challenging me to question "Why would it matter?". Sure there's the obvious concerns of bigotry and violence, but in a safe space such as work or friendship, does it really make a difference?

The times that I can slip into that mindset of not caring whether I pass are the most free I've felt in decades. I hope all my transbros and sisters can achieve that.

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

As long as work is a safe space, it’s moot indeed. However, since work is tied to food and shelter in this absolute fucking bullshit hellscape boring-ass dystopia, being trans can fuck people up out of house and food.

Sorry, let my opinions get the better of me for a moment.

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 2 months ago

Nah that's absolutely valid. I feel lucky to be in a workplace with a union, a gay CEO, and a prominent LGBTQ club that ensures every employee has what they need to succeed. Earlier this year I pointed out that the complimentary gym doesn't have gender neutral showers and within a week met with the head of the legal dept and head of facilities to figure out how to implement one.

[–] el_abuelo@programming.dev 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm delighted to read you consider work to be a safe place. I hope that is the norm for everyone.

I imagine for most it's not true though.

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 2 months ago

100%. I've worked in many places where I had to hide, and so I think I'm still stuck in that mindset.

[–] ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 2 months ago

Fuck yeah! I'm here for it

[–] femboy_bird@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 2 months ago (2 children)

You should start referring to people as "my brave traveler" and offer quests

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago

Also you want a quest? Here’s a quest:

DRINK WATER

Reward: one body happiness.

Do this before the other person who has the quest does it.

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

Nah, I’m more into modern Final Fantasy, less so D&D and such.

I’m gonna be wearing this outfit, sprinting flat-out up the side of a skyscraper, holding some badass technosword, on my way to kill god, who’s looming over the city, amidst night time, rain, and city-wide panic.

It’s absolutely a vibe.

[–] yuri@pawb.social 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

looks friend shaped to me.

srs 10/10, you look great ^^

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

My dad messaged me to say “you look sad.” Nope, not in these clothes, but there’s certain facial expressions that are part of the aesthetic, a fierce determination and stoicness.

[–] yuri@pawb.social 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I’d say “self determined”, “sad” didn’t even cross my mind.

my dad doesn’t get it either 😂

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Self-determined what we gotta look like when we dress to slay literal gods. It’s what gives us the sheer moxie to make the clothes work.

[–] yuri@pawb.social 7 points 2 months ago

i love your whole vibe, keep at it 💖

[–] janet_catcus@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 2 months ago

i like your funky glasses :D

[–] princessnorah@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 2 months ago

I don't think I've ever seen/noticed a pair of asymmetric frames before, they're so hecking cool!

[–] kertain@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 months ago

Yup I agree with glasses comment, I dig them!

Being cis I can't say I am bothered in the slightest, but sorry most people make you feel that way. Terrible that is the culture we have currently.

[–] ShareMySims@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 months ago (7 children)

I love your look! Is that purple(?) thing like basically sleeves with a hoodie you pop over things? Whatever it is, it's fab and I want one.

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Seconding. Love plague doc asthetic.

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[–] WaxedWookie@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Hell yeah!

Well intentioned cis outsider here, so I hope this comes across in the spirit it's intended.

For better or worse, I can imagine that this decision would ironically make many people more comfortable, as they wouldn't experience the same level of perceived gender ...dissonance(?). Whatever the case, you don't need me to tell you that it's certainly not your job to adjust your identity or presentation to please people, and it's a rad look - I don't think I could help but take a bit of an admiring look tbh.

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[–] TheWilliamist@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

I dig the glasses!

[–] Fosheze@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"Passing" is becomming increasingly irrelevant as even cis folk are increasingly ignoring gender norms. Just try to look how you want to look and fuck what other people think.

Also are those the newest gen aftershokz? If so how do you like them? I really need to get myself a new pair and I've been looking at those.

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

THEY HAVE ACTUAL FUKKEN BASS YO

I forgot how some of my music used to sound like with my old V-Modas (which I stopped wearing outside cause they're too heavy, isolating, and they detract from my aesthetic.)

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[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That's some fancy spectacles!

So, what quest can you give me, wandering person?

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

DRINK WATER

Reward: one body happiness

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (6 children)

Just drank sodastreamed water. My body feels good, thank you!

(how many xp? what next quest?)

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[–] Makhno@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

I'm cis, and I hate any type of attention, so I'm with you!

Plus, you look great!

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Joke's on you, I try staunchly and vehemently not to look at cis people too.

PS: Amazing drip

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[–] celeste@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 2 months ago

Those glasses are cool!

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The asymmetrical glasses tell me you're a fellow PC looking for group.

Though second on calling other people traveller

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

I’m slaying gods out here.

[–] Boomkop3@reddthat.com 8 points 2 months ago

Cool glasses tho

[–] then_three_more@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Do your glasses have Bluetooth headphones built in? Kinda looks like it.

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Those are bone conductors (that I’ve doctored the logo off of), and they keep a soundtrack on me. I just like music a lot! They’re not part of my glasses though.

[–] then_three_more@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Ahh it's how your hair falls in the photo. Made it look like they were all part of the same thing.

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[–] stratoscaster@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

I mean, people don't question cis women (as much these days) who don't try to look feminine/masculine. The same applies to trans people - however much makes you feel comfortable matters.

Younger people just don't care as much, which is great.

[–] MissyBee@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Oh it's you! I remember your name from reddit. Used to spend some time on the femboy subreddit. Cool style you got there.

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