this post was submitted on 03 Sep 2023
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Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Electronic_Angle_139 on 2023-09-03 15:16:17.


I (17m) have not spoken to my father in a little over a year until he called to tell me his wife was pregnant and high risk and he wanted me to help him look after her. My reason for not speaking to my father is he had an affair with his wife while he was married to my mom. They worked together, she was his boss technically, and when they got found out, they were both fired from their job. She was his supervisor and it was against the rules to sleep with someone you're in a position of power over. But they also did stuff at work which was against the rules as well. They tried to blame mom and attempted to disparage her to me and others because they were angry mom was so angry at them. My father's wife said she had done nothing wrong and "did not like the hostility aimed at her, when she was an innocent party". I was 15 when this all went down. He actually brought this woman into our home and expected us to be kind to her and accept that they wanted to be happy together. He expected me to be more welcoming than I was. I told him to go fuck himself and that I didn't want to be around either of them and they were disgusting.

My father had every other weekend custody of me through the divorce proceedings but mom and I fought and won the ability for me to decide if I wanted to go to his place or not. Once that was in my hands I stopped all contact with him and I have refused to step foot inside his house.

So he called to tell me about his wife's pregnant and how it's high risk. I didn't answer but he left a voicemail. He called me back a few times until I answered. He said how she's not able to work and she's home on her own a lot while he's working. She can't do much for herself and he wanted me to help take care of her and their house. I was like no way in hell am I taking care of his wife. He said if I don't want to do it for them, think of the baby who will be my little brother and he was like surely you'll want a relationship with him. I said nope. I won't ever see his new kid and I won't be his kids big brother. My father was saying that's not how you treat family. I told him he ceased to be my family when he decided to try and turn me against mom and brought his side piece into the family home. I told him mom had done nothing wrong. He cheated. And there he was trying to poison me against her. My father argued that it was nothing to do with me. I pointed out he made it something to do with me when he tried to use me.

He protested some more and said he needs help. I said he can take care of his own wife and when it comes to that, he can take care of his own family and to leave me alone.

He lectured me about people needing help from time to time and I am being a little shit about this. He said she could lose the baby if she's forced to do too much. I told him that was not my problem.

AITA?

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[–] kb7qdi@midwest.social 1 points 1 year ago

No, you are NTA. There will never be a scenario where you would be. You get to choose your relationship with your father's new family, whether that is all-in or all-out.