this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2024
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Programmer Humor

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Psychopath Dev (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 months ago by devilish666@lemmy.world to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev
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[–] RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works 200 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Don’t forget automatically killing orphans

[–] MajinBlayze@lemmy.world 132 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Before killing yourself, it's your responsibility to kill your children

[–] wewbull@feddit.uk 61 points 3 months ago

...and people worry about the name of a git branch.

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago

Garbage collection is such an evil thing...

[–] schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de 93 points 3 months ago (1 children)

"how to kill orphaned children in Java"

what do you mean Java is also the name of an island

[–] generic_computers@lemmy.zip 20 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Java (pronounced jay-va) is also the name of a town near me in Western NY.

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 28 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You should tell them that this pronunciation sucks.

[–] littlewonder@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Wait until you hear there's a town in NY named Gotham--pronounced GOthum.

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[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 89 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Dont ignore 'Simple Children'

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 41 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Playground zone signs where I live often read "slow children playing". It's supposed to be "slow (children playing)" but I always get a kick out of reading it as "(slow children) playing".

[–] Klear@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago

Dumping core FTW

[–] scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech 71 points 3 months ago (1 children)

[–] Smorty@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I'd like more pixels please. Literally can't read it...

[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 6 points 3 months ago

I could make out a line that says div element contained inline span child, forcing all children to be wrapped in a block.

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[–] mlg@lemmy.world 58 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I actually got flagged on reddit for a joke comment I made with a 3 liner code block that had something like thread.kill()

It thought I was promoting violence lol

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 46 points 3 months ago

Reddit: for bots, by bots

[–] Pantsofmagic@lemmy.world 18 points 3 months ago

Imagine the possibilities when AI gets involved and can't distinguish between killing children (programming) vs IRL.

[–] addie@feddit.uk 45 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

A bit like when we renamed all the master/slave terminology using different phrasing that's frankly more useful a lot of the time, I think it's about time we got rid of this "child" task nonsense. I suggest "subtask". Then we can reword these books into something that no-one can make stupid jokes about any more, like "how to keep your subs in line" and "how to punish your subs when they've misbehaved".

[–] Linssiili@sopuli.xyz 23 points 3 months ago

"How to enter subspace" "How to bind subs"

[–] calcopiritus@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I don't think changing a profession's terms to "prevent stupid jokes" is a smart move.

[–] weker01@sh.itjust.works 10 points 3 months ago

Whoosh?

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 29 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Dumping Core

When your entire identity is about pooping.

[–] Pantsofmagic@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

Isn't yours?

[–] RonSijm@programming.dev 21 points 3 months ago

At some I added logging to a thread pool, when it gave up on child-threads, it would be logging things like

"Child 123 is being aborted"

Not the best of phrasing for people that didn't know what that was about...

[–] beliquititious@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Oh, so that's where the creator of ReiserFS got the idea.

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

That was his wife.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 15 points 3 months ago

Dumping core

Oh, thats why captains in Star Trek do it every even remotely excusable change they get.
("Why did we dump the core & why did it detonate??" - "I wanted to see if I can brew coffee in the vacuum of space.")

[–] bad_alloc@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 3 months ago

He dumped core. All over the floor. What a mess.

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