they use proprietary file formats (MOV and HEIC) that need to be converted to a universal format like jpg or MP4 to be viewed on android (I think this can be changed in iPhone settings), and the conversion looks like shit
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Cause then you won't buy an iPhone.. Duh
There's a solution nobody has mentioned yet, which is using an iMessage bridge application (allowing you to message iPhone users over iMessage). If you have a machine running MacOS, I just started using one called OpenBubbles that works great and, unlike other bridges (AirMessage or BlueBubbles), doesn't require you to spin up and run a Mac as a server.
Alternatively, iOS 18 drops this month and has support for RCS, as some have mentioned. This is assuming you use Google Messages...
You're probably getting suggestions for what she should do different because, at least at a starting point, it could just as easily be something her phone is doing before sending as it is something your phone is doing on the receiving end.
I've had a phone say 'video to big, do you want to crop or share through abc app' before. Don't recall the exact message, but seems more likely than you phone downgrading something it's receiving.
@geometry dash the RCS is not something Apple does. Your messages are currently unencrypted and of worse quality; however, this will be rectified shortly. In the meantime, you are better off using a different messaging software.