Ask Lemmy

I met, fell in love, got married, bought a house, started a family and grew old together with a woman i met in my dreams. In one night, i lived a lifetime. It was so super realistic that I woke up devastated that it was a dream. It took me weeks to stop thinking about it constantly throughout the day, and even to this day I still think about it occasionally going on 15 years later.

Once, in the middle of a long and happy relationship, I had a dream where there was simply no reference to my partner in the dream, background or foreground. My brain went on to invent a person who was lovely in every way. We were equally crazy for each other and it was absolute heaven.

Then my brain went "yeah but you're with your real life partner so you basically cheated" and I woke up.

Fuckin wiseass brain pullin shit lol

For a while I had a girlfriend in my dreams, same person every dream, we just did normal things, it was weird as hell, i think she left me tho, haven't dreamt about her in years.

I had a dream that I was driving a horse cart down a dusty gravel road, and riding next to me was the greatest love I'd ever felt - she was a rotund Native American woman.

Yes. My dreams are incredibly vivid and I can get confused between them and memories. Most of my dreams are very mundane but sometimes my brain conjures up the perfect scenario to illict and extreme emotional response. I feel like my brains testing to make sure everything still works cause my life is very stable and boring.

The worst one recently was a dream about a faceless women who I seemed to care deeply about getting in a carcrash and dying in front of me. It felt like I had lost everything and all meaning in life was gone. I had to sit with the feeling for what felt like a lifetime. I don't know why dreams do this and would be interested if anyone knew why this happens.

I'm not sure if I've ever fallen in love with a completely imaginary dream person, but I did dream about my ex once years and years after we broke up. I don't remember what I dreamed about exactly, but I do remember waking from it. The happiness fading as the realization set in that it was all a dream -- I was by myself in bed and none of it had been real. I'm usually pretty good at dealing with solitude, but that moment... that was the most intense loneliness I think I've ever felt.

Yeah, oddly enough, that Rick & Morty ep hit home. Of all the things, that one hooked me. 🤷🏽‍♂️

First time I ever asked out a girl was after I had a dream like this about her

Yes, once. I was incredibly heartbroken and confused for three days. It sparked me going onto dating apps. Where i found my dream wife.

Yeah, once or twice.

It’s really disturbing, and I generally dislike them because of the emotional leftovers.

The emotion is real, and the worst part is that it tends to stick around. Most dreams you just forget. But for some reason the one or two of these I’ve experienced it has left a longing and a desire to sort of go back to that dream, the person in it, the level of feeling I got, which of course is impossible. I have a family and love them all, so I don’t know why my brain threw this at me. It’s not like I’m lonely.

I wonder what the psychology and brain chemistry is with that. Why your brain makes up the person, the feelings, and why it sticks around when all the other dreams generally vanish.

Definitely. Not often, but when I had them, they were strong and affected me for the remainder of the day.

I have vivid dreams to the point I've had to mourn entire lives that were never even real.

Like Roy from Rick and Morty.

The worst ones are when it was a very fulfilling life and then I have to wake up and accept it never actually happened.

Oh yeah often. But there's a decent proportion of my dreams where I'm not me; just some sort of fictional my brain made up for that night.

And about 80% of the time, if there's romance in a dream, it's not me. My brain has trouble fathoming a romantic story with me in it and I can't fault it for it.

Not fell in love per se but I had a dream I was getting married and it was clear my partner and I were really in love. There was a sense of happiness I felt that made the dream feel so real. Was sad when I woke up.

Got no time for love in my dreams - I'm busier with tomato fights, becoming a pig, running from a T-Rex, watching aliens to spit on a tree to wilt it down, and killing a person to resurrect an ancient god.

Absolutely. Has been a hot minute though. In my late teens and early twenties I regularly woke up depressed AF knowing that what I just felt was all just a dream.

Haven't had this in the last two decades or so, but you never fully forget the feeling of helplessness as you realize that "bliss" actually exists, but it's perpetually out of your reach.

Yes. In a dream, I fell in love with someone I know in real life now. It was psychologically disruptive. In the dream, we'd loved each other for thousands of years. The emotions did not end upon waking and persist to today to some extent.

This is one of my most common dreams now. When I was younger it was wild sex dreams. Now it's literally just meeting my dream woman and it goes smoothly.

Yes, those dreams hurt reality so badly. The sense of loss when you wake is pretty aggressive if you already lack a good connection with someone.

Had a dream like that years ago, I still remember it quite well

Yes and I hate it. I've struggled a lot with loss, and my dreams always used to remind me of this. I would wake up from wonderful dreams sobbing because it was a version of life that was just on display. At this point in time though, I have pretty much curbed the commonality of me dreaming.

No. But lots of dreams about sucking fat dicks.

So... close enough?

Yes. Not often, but often I do have people who seem so real and are not me at all. Occasionally yes, such intense emotions too.

Yes, and then I wrote a thousand-word-long poem about it.