This feels like a lovecraftian story. You gained forbidden knowledge but lost your humanity in exchange.
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Rule: You must post before you leave.
They say you should listen to my inner child, and when I was a very young child I wanted to be a caterpillar. So far I'm accomplishing this by doing fuck all but eat and sleep.
Maybe I'm less like Franz Kafka than I thought, however I believe I should give it a little more time (just in case metamorphosis is around the corner).
I believe you could be Kafka's stunt double with your writing.
Gregor Samsa, maybe not.
metamorphise into what butterflies metamorphise away from
"ow you dont need that form? can i hav?"
Furry fandom?
Yes. Check the instance I'm from lmao.
UwU
:3
In that case it would rather sound like Therian or Otherkin.
The defining aspect of Therian or Otherkin was that (when I paid attention to the hilarious arguments), like transgender individuals, they believe they are genuinely the 'other' that they are transitioning to and are stuck in human bodies, while furries just want to be that 'other,' whatever it is.
I've wondered this as a ciswoman who is hetero and far as I'm aware, neuro typical.
Growing up I had all kinds of identity questions and it's taken me a long time to both understand who I am and what I want for myself; to make peace with a few things about my personality etc.
I wonder if the struggles of trans/queer/ND people to find their identity delay those additional questions? Or are they layered on top as well?
No real point, just a musing I've had. Being a human is hard even when you're already ticking boxes that society says you should.
I spent 30 years thinking I was cishet (and suffering for it). When I finally realized that I'm trans, it was like a dam bursting; suddenly everything about my identity was in question. I've gone from "Maybe I'm a girl" to "I'm a trans demi ND plural therian" in three years and I don't think I'm done discovering things about myself yet.
I think it can flip it on its head, give you a different perspective and maybe sometimes give you even more solid answers.
I know who I am mostly, have kind of come to terms with everything that isn't leftovers from the trauma of my life, but I still don't feel like what I want to be gender wise, my body just doesn't want that for me.
To me, my gender/identity related realisations are all strongly tied to discovering what my personality was underneath all the trauma debris, idk.
What if you want to be an incomprehensible mass of circuits and blinking lights
With cool lasers that go BZZZZZHT BZZZHHTTT
Serial Experiments Lain type beat
I want to ship of theseus my flesh prison with the cold certainty of steel.
nanite swarm is the ideal, maybe some days i wake up and feel like being a fridge with an ice dispenser
Im definitely not. Im not sure I would to look different than my best self (young, perfect health, in great shape) but maybe a few genetic tweaks might not be bad (can't tan, need glasses, etc). But like the only reason I would want to be like a dragon man would be for the super powers. If I could get superpowers and look like myself I would more likely take that. Honestly im not even sure I care what I am. Im pretty in my head so if I was like a ghost but could otherwise communicate and interact with everything I think I would be fine with it. Granted might miss food and sex but if the urges/cravings were not present im not so sure I would.
Hmm. Wonder if Lemmy has a Voidpunk community. Because that's exactly what this is.
Edit: there is! Kind of. Link to the forbidden zone because it has background info. https://www.reddit.com/r/voidpunk/comments/14j3m78/trying_to_start_a_voidpunk_hive_at/
Seems to be more of a Masto community.
Also holy shit, Reddit harrassed me to use the app (I'm on a computer, I literally can't) until I used old.reddit -- It got even worse in this past year that I haven't touched it.
i would do anything for a soft fur coat and the re-contextualization of my social ineptitude as "dog can't talk"
A fellow trans-human.
I have come to this state.
To be fair, it is the richest, deepest cosmic existential horror I have ever experienced. And I've experienced a lot of rich, deep cosmic existential horror.
I just wanna be a cute mecha girl ripping my enemies to shreds :(
Like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22sl6vaDVE0
To shreds, you say?
Society places great importance upon the configuration of fleshy appendages.
You could always find a medusa head to get that statuesque bearing
Sounds like it's time for someone to discover fur affinity!
You know, Slowpoke is one of my favourite pokémon. [winks]
JOJO, ZE PILLARMAN, IT IZ AVAKE!
pillarman strikes a majestic pose, 8 pack abs rippling
AY AY AY AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY~
The pillarmen are too -- Well -- Manly for me, though.
Mmmm more curves, less muscles, all pillar
What if I transition, and I'm still miserable? Because for all the affirmation, at the end of it I'll remain, myself. And I fucking hate myself