No Stupid Questions

Swim.

Not get splashed or crowded by kids, mostly.

edit: lol, sorry. misinterpreted the question

Public pools have a shallow end and a deep end. It's difficult (but not impossible!) to drown in the shallow end because you can just stand up, but you can still swim.

Most humans, especially fat Western humans, are naturally buoyant. Completely inert, most (fat) Western people will float above the bottom of their nose (because we're fat.) Very lean or muscular people tend to be more neutrally buoyant or even negatively buoyant (sink), YMMV.

Most important thing to remember as an Aquatic Mammal is you WILL get water in your nose, and sometimes down your windpipe. DO NOT PANIC. It burns, you will want to cough. Resist that urge. If you are under water or do not have free air passage, DO NOT COUGH. Control the urge and break the surface, then you can go ham coughing and sputtering.

The most important thing about being in and around water is to be comfortable. If you're not comfortable, you're too deep. Get shallow.

source: PADI certified diver

Learning to swim in a pool with a shallow end isn't too difficult for an adult. Just don't pay attention to assholes or give up because it doesn't come naturally.

Watch a video or two to learn the motions (breast stroke is easiest, but freestyle or side crawls are also good to start with), then just get in the pool (shallow end, please). Start by crouching down to the level of your mouth, and breathing through your nose. Become comfortable with water near your mouth.

Then dip your nose into the water and blow out through it at the same time (blowing bubbles). You'll quickly get the hang of holding pressure in your airways so that water doesn't enter when you dive below the surface. Once you get to that point, start laying face down in the water. You don't even have to be stiff, or try to swim, just get used to having your back towards the sky. Finally, after the 20 minutes this will probably take you, start trying to mimic the motions on the videos you watched. Again, ignore the feeling that you suck at this, because everyone sucks at it when starting. You're just an adult, so you realize how bad you are at the beginning, just like when learning a new instrument. With an hour or so of attempts, you'll have a pretty good idea of how to move around the pool.

Floating take the weight off my joints.

If you can afford to save then I highly recommend you to save up for classes. Not just for the exercise aspect but (primary) as a safety measure.

Floating around on ones back is seriously underrated. You just drift around a bit, relax and disconnect for a bit.

I used to have an in-ground pool at my home when I lived in Oklahoma. I would float on a pool noodle and sipping beer while listening to reggae. I was in my happy place. I miss having a pool.

Swim, if necessary get a couple of classes. So you can enjoy the exercise aspect of it.

If there is a water slide on whatever, it's not just for kids, so you can have some fun there too.

Just a thing, please don't block the swimming lanes to play around, it'll be annoying for you and the swimmers

I float... at really weird times of the day when it's pretty quiet.

Bounce around. Dive for coins or toys. Float. Chat with people. Some people water walk. I make my family and friends participate in made up Olympic events like race across the pool while sitting cross cross applesauce and only use your hands.

Swim laps ya maggot!

/s /drill instructor

Exercise.

Arthritis, and other musculoskeletal problems put me on the disabled list a long time ago. So, if I want anything resembling sustained cardio, it's water or jerking off. Or both, I guess.

Point being that water based exercise is a wonderful thing when you have any kind of mobility issues. You get resistance without stress on joints, or at least a lot less stress. So you can bust your ass and get some good work in instead of doing fifteen minutes and needing a handful of NSAIDs and the rest of the day to recover.

I just wish I could go more often. We don't have a pool in our town that's even semi useful for that. The YMCA the next town over has times set aside, but it's a tough thing to schedule in.

Just talk to people while getting out of the heat. Or sit waist deep in water and get drunk. That's always a good time.

Teach my kids to swim, float on my back, practice holding my breath, do underwater laps, finally do that Slavic dance where you alternate balancing in you heels with kicks without tipping over...

Just be in the water. Even if all you do is basically walk or dog paddle laps around the perimeter at a very leisurely pace you're getting good exercise in. Every movement you make in the water is resisted by the water.

I used to have access to a unsupervised swimming pool and would get a floaty chair and I just vibe floating around.

The kids would sometimes push me around like a game of pong.

But I like being in the water with friends and a loud speaker playing EDM.

Poop in the shallow end

/s

Best bet is just have kids so you can splash and wade around with them…

Get one of those masks that also cover your nose, it will make going under water 10000x easier, you just have to worry about closing your mouth. The way I learned was by hanging on one side of the pool and using the wall to give myself some insertia, and then figure out the movements to keep going. Doing underwater backflips can also be fun. I don't to to public pools because they disgust me, but when I am in a pool I like jumping in and finding out the biggest splash I can make with friends. Stupid but fun stuff

I like playing ball in the pool. With how stupid it looks, it burns a lot of energy while still being fun. It needs one other person though.

I bring a book and pace around in the water while I read.

Have you checked the local YMCA? Community college?

There is so much piss in those things... We all drank so much piss...