this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2024
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I’m not. I’m aware of how selfish it is but something in my system of belief that I have (undefined? spiritual? no idea?) says that when I’m dead, I should be ALL dead.
Like, if there’s any kind of afterlife, will leaving a functioning part me behind hold up the transition? This even sounds fucked up to me because I’m 100% not religious at all.
I would just prefer all of me to be dead or all of me to be alive. Not fractions of both at the same time.
I'm the same way. The idea of some part of me living on and ending up who knows where freaks me out. (The same way I'd be, while extremely grateful, also weirded out having a transplant and knowing some dead person's inside me). And I guess I'd like to know with certainty I will be safe and AT REST in some place. Yes I understand that all of this is irrational. But no matter how many times I read these debates, I can't seem to let go and make it feel okay. Like you, I'm not religious.
So yeah I get that I sound cuckoo, the same way I think religions sound cuckoo. I guess this means I'm spiritual in a way, or just agnostic. Because if I was truly atheist, none of this would matter and I wouldn't care.
Also I like to think it's somehow related to me being a bit of a pack-rat (maybe not a hoarder, but definitely a pack-rat). I tend to ascribe feeling to objects and get attached and then can't throw stuff out. Lol.
That being said – I'd be all for it if my organs were given to a loved one. 100% no qualms about it.