this post was submitted on 07 Jan 2024
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I should be studying right now, but everytime I sit to study, I can't sit there long enough, I want food even though I am not hungry, I want to watch TV/youtube, self-pleasure... etc...

No matter what productive work I want to do, I will try to not do that and do something which gives me momentary pleasure. I want to masturbate, eat lots of food even though I am not hungry while watching TV/Youtube and I don't seem to be able to break the cycle and it's destroying me. How can I break the cycle and do something good for a change instead of pleasuring myself in the moment meaninglessly?

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[–] BananaTrifleViolin@lemmy.world 63 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (14 children)

Self discipline is a skill in itself and it is something you can learn.

At it's most basic you restrict things you want and make them a reward for doing a task.

It can be hard to restrict things as you say. When I used to study, I used to go to a "3rd place" to do it. That is somewhere that is not home or work - I used to go to a library. In that environments you don't have TV, or food, and hopefully you won't be masturbating.

Mobiles can be very difficult though - if you can't stop yourself using your phone to watch YouTube then either leave it at home (I know, shocking idea in this day and age!) Or install parental locking/anti distraction software that locks your phone down for certain periods. This can help you learn self discipline with your phone.

Similarly if you study with a laptop, then look at anti distraction tools to keep you focused on your work rather than surfing or on YouTube.

The reward side is very important. You need to be consistent and follow through on your promises to yourself. Don't use unrealistic rewards - like "if I study for 6 hours today I'll have dinner tonight". You're going to have dinner anyway, and you don't want to go down the road of punishing yourself. Make it a favourite meal, or promise to watch next episode in a favourite TV show.

The idea is that you will be still enjoying those things because you will study and work. But be prepared to deny yourself those things if you fail to reach your goals in the beginning.

Self discipline is hard, not least because you can cheat yourself too easily. But it's worth putting in the effort, and the forced physical separation from the distractions and rewards at home makes it easier.

[–] BadWolf@kbin.social 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

This is a fantastic answer. The things that trigger the reward center in your brain should not be the common input. I fully agree with the suggestion to remove the temptation beforehand and set goals. Personally, I also suggest that you make the reward less frequent over time so that the completion of the work becomes the desired result; rather than just a means to attain the reward.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It’s most effective for long term behavioral modification if your reinforcement drops off steadily, and becomes randomized (as in, may or may not appear, randomly selected each time according to a decaying probability curve).

[–] CallumWells@lemmy.ml 1 points 10 months ago

Oh, like in gacha games? ;P

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