this post was submitted on 28 Dec 2023
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chapotraphouse
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I'm honestly doing really good. This year's been rough. Year 2 of family no contact, break up on my birthday earlier this year. But i still have a lot to be thankful for. My new partner is a leftist instead of a lib so we are more compatible. My ex didn't like to cuddle so i was very touch deprived in my last relationship, that was hard.
It was tough losing all the shared friend group because she literally just changed overnight after some family trauma and moved back home to a conservative state. Being trans and already having been hate crimed, i didn't feel safe to move there with her, but i got "punished" for it socially :|
My ex family, i miss them a little, but if they're so shit they're cutting me off just for being vegan like, good riddance. I always felt like i was the black sheep anyway, the fact that they cut me off so easily was just proof my feelings of alienation were right all along. It's hard to struggle with missing people who were/are bad for you. My family was critical, judgemental, disrespectful, libs yet they could be kind to me and funny sometimes. I'm still somewhat in contact with my mom and it's so fucking bananas how much she will do for her other children compared to me. When i got married, she and my sister left right after the ceremony to go shopping in my city rather than stay and hang out with me and my new wife, and my brother in law said he didn't respect vegans. On my wedding day.. because he came up with some gotcha about how vegans are okay with ethical cannibalism or some shit. And this was like 5 years ago, when i was more of a lib and wasn't even forcing them to eat vegan at the wedding. Like i literally paid for their dead body food without complaint but then got criticized for eating plants in the same room, on my wedding day where i was marrying another vegan. Trash people lol. But still, it's hard when your culture is like "here are the people who will always love you and have your back :) " and they're behaving opposite of that. Complete mindfuck that i'm only just starting to heal from.
when the abuse or neglect is subtle, it's harder to spot and heal from. It just feels like something is slightly wrong with you because everyone is treating you different. Meanwhile it's easy to say the other more extreme trauma that happened to me was traumatizing and point out why.
Despite that, i'm doing good lol. Just a bit rough with all the holiday memories. Trying to just accept i did the best i could and let it all go and focus on how happy i am now not having to be around those people lol.
This whole story is so fucked, I'm SO sorry you were treated like that. I'm vegan and I'm so tired of all the little jokes and the random snark and the hostility, carnists being offended by my just existing in front of them and daring to live according to my values. When I first went vegan, my then bf (no longer) was personally offended by my veganism, insisting I did it to disrespect him. It's amazing how so much shit can simmer under the surface until you decide to publicly take a stand for an exploited group.
I relate to this so hard. ❤
Thanks for the kind words <3
Sorry you resonated with it because of shitty people
lol
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3