this post was submitted on 11 Nov 2023

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136

What are your experiences with polyamory, first or second hand? (feddit.nl)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by LegionEris@feddit.nl to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

91 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I personally am in a phenomenally stable polyamorous relationship. I've been married to my wife for 12 years, and she has had the same boyfriend for about half of that time. It's a really fulfilling arrangement for all of us in various ways. We're all genuinely happy and satisfied. I'm kind of casually looking for a boyfriend of my own.

But I feel like I only hear negative stories about other poly experiences. It's always unstable people and situations. It's always two out of three people happy at most. Surely there are other success stories out there, and I just hear the disasters because they're more memorable and fun to tell. Does anyone else have or know a polyamory success story?

EDIT: This blew up a little while I was asleep. I promise I'm at least reading every comment.

EDIT 2.0: ngl I did not expect the trope of polyamory to fix a struggling relationship would be so real. We did just the opposite and are both baffled. Don't use volitility to fight the volitility.

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[–] fubo@lemmy.world 44 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (10 children)

My housemates are poly and pretty happy about it.

It's a bit of a logic puzzle:

I live in a house with A, B, and C.
A and B are married.
B is also dating J, who lives in a big complicated house with lots of people, including their partner K.
Separately, C is dating X.
X is married to Y; X is also dating Z.
I don't know Y or K well enough to know if they have other partners, but I suspect so.
No, I am not dating anyone on this list.

As far as I'm aware, there's no current polycule link between AB and C; nor between any of them and me.

Everyone in this list is in their 30s or 40s, and almost all are some flavor of queer; at least two are also trans. There are no kids in the picture, although we know other poly people in the neighborhood who do have kids.

It's all quite cheerful and civilized. Compersion is totally a thing. Also, fortunately people's food preferences aren't complicated when everyone's over for dinner. If anybody starts dating someone who doesn't like mushrooms, that's gonna be a problem.

[–] controlshiftn@lemmy.world 48 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Dammit I don't care what you get up to with who, I just want to know how many people I'm cooking for.

[–] 0x4E4F@infosec.pub 2 points 1 year ago

Please keep it civil, no under the table touching.

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