this post was submitted on 27 Oct 2023
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No Stupid Questions

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So this dude is basically a 46 year old man child and I don't wanna armchair diagnose people, but he's probably on the spectrum.

He'll say a pun or a "funny" phrase, stare at you till you acknowledge it, then when you do, he'll just keep saying it over and over. Even if you don't acknowledge it he'll say it a bunch then switch to a new one.

He's obsessed with making fart noises then pretending it's someone else he'll even do it while we're eating lunch. I've tried the politely asking him to stop he just says "oh you know I'm just joking" then when I tell him its genuinely annoying he goes full kicked puppy and acts super sad for a few hours and gets all woe is me saying stuff like "oh well I guess everyone hates me I'll just shut up forever". Sometimes he even goes full non verbal and literally just tries to communicate by pointing and or writing notes.

It's not like he's an asshole he a genuinely good guy he's good at his job and he's got your back when you need it.

I guess I just have a hard time finding the balance between not being an ass to a guy with zero social skills and losing my sanity because he can't be quiet for 5 minutes.

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[–] DogMuffins@discuss.tchncs.de 18 points 1 year ago (8 children)

Have you tried... you know... talking to him about it?

I mean a cool headed calm discussion avoid not making farther noises.

I guess it depends on the culture of your work place but honestly I feel like this is something that can be easily resolved and it's part of managing a team.

[–] AyuTsukasa@lemm.ee 21 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (7 children)

So the issue is it's like a loop you be nice and ignore him he thinks he's cool.

You be mean and tell him he's annoying he paints you as the asshole.

You be nice and tell him he's being annoying he throws a pity party and makes you feel guilty for saying anything.

[–] DogMuffins@discuss.tchncs.de 36 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Sorry mate. IMO this is really bread and butter for a team leader.

You're not children. You don't need to be "nice" or "mean".

  • hey guy
  • I'm really enjoying working with you. You seem to be amazing at x. I'm really hoping I can learn about y from you.
  • If I'm really honest though, I just can't concentrate with the fart noises. I know it's just a joke and maybe others are ok with it but it really disrupts my flow, every time.
  • Anyhow, how have you been going with z.
[–] AyuTsukasa@lemm.ee 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Fair point I am probably overthinking it.

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

You'd be surprised how good ChatGPT is at providing an answer just like the one homie just gave ya.

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