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I really want to like Lemmy
(lemmy.zip)
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The reality is that there was/is no reddit alternative and right now we're all in this transitory phase where we're all looking for a new home. We'll all just have to wait for the dust to settle. Lemmy isn't perfect but is improving and additionally other alternatives like kbin and tildes are in the works.
To your larger point, much of what you're feeling is the abrupt break in habits. I've been using the gap to develop more positives ones, and it's been great.
I've been told my handle should work on all the lemmys but so far it only works on lemmy.one. I tried logging in with this at lemmy.world and beehaw and it didn't work. I tried creating a new login on both of those and it also didn't work. I want to like it but I'm confused and frustrated. I'll give it some time and see where the dust settles as you said. Call me old fashioned though but I just don't think shitposting on a forum should be so damn complicated.
Are you on mobile or are you using desktop? The mobile app is definitely still in development so it's missing a lot of those QOL things that you are missing.
For me it's been helpful to use that fediverse search tool, and copy and paste it into the search. Seems to work better on desktop. I've got a decent feed going today, but it's definitely a work in progress.