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Undiagnosed ADHD to CD/ODD?
(reddthat.com)
A casual community for people with ADHD
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lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.
I don't know what country you are in but I would go looking for a physiatrist or mental health nurse practitioner to seek diagnosis.
It sounds more complex than just ADHD (could be bipolar, borderline, schizophrenia, etc.). He will need to adjust his goals and try different physical activities. He will need to have a medical regimen and follow it to the t. As a family, you will need a support circle. You will burn out very fast, so family therapy is key.