this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2023
152 points (100.0% liked)
chapotraphouse
13535 readers
57 users here now
Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.
No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer
Gossip posts go in c/gossip. Don't post low-hanging fruit here after it gets removed from c/gossip
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
It's kind of alien to me too, the idea of being someone's friend being taken as a social rejection (which more often than not means no longer talking to that person) because no le sexy sex will occur.
Yes, it's disappointing when someone doesn't reciprocate romantic/sexual attraction. For me the alien part is "therefore cut that person entirely out." If it wasn't intended to be a hook-up all along, it makes the entire social bond seem sus in hindsight to me.
In my experience, actually accepting a non-romantic friendship often results in additional friendships with that friend's friends if that friend actually likes you non-romantically, and sometimes those can bloom into romance anyway, often at the first friend's encouragement/recommendation. Don't do it for that reason (transactional thinking is a fuck) but my point is that fatalistically seeing "the friend zone" as some evil bad thing is self-fulfilling prophecy.
I will say, a lot of men's "friendships" are, uh, surface level and very emotionally unfulfilling.
Fuck, isn't that the truth. I fell in love the first time largely because she would/could actually talk with me about feelings and fears and I felt seen as a person for the first time.