this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2024
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After both being vegan for 5 years, my partner has gone back to calling themselves vegetarian and consuming dairy. Everything we eat shared is vegan, but too many inconsistencies piled up elsewhere and they never really adopted a fully animal-centric view. They buy leather, wool, etc but only second hand unless its a gift for someone else. In their mind the other person isn't vegan, so theres a distinction if its not for their personal consumption. They're against mammal breeding, but have a leopard gecko bought from a breeder, when the rest of our animal companions are rescues because they study reptiles and amphibians academically and breeders are some of the only reliable places to get them from. Stuff like that.
I'm not posting to trash on them, they're still my partner and have been for almost 20 years. But its personally disappointing as I've felt more and more disconnected from everyone in my life due to ethical and ideogical reasons.
I think I have a harder time dealing with it because I'm nuerodiverse and my condition commonly correlates with "a strong sense of justice" or in other words an unwavering conviction once I've decided something is 'right' (which can become perverted justice just as easily). I'm glad we dont plan to have children, because like others in this thread mentioned, it'd be much more difficult to navigate. But I'm definitely interested in hearing how others deal with this disconnect while not just sabotaging all their relationships.
As for the weekly question, I 'feel better'. Not physically, but emotionally and mentally, at least in regards to my personal actions. Spiritually as well, as I am a Buddhist and non-harm to other beings, but even specifically animals, is held as a moral ideal. I feel I am following in the footsteps of previous exemplary teachers from hundreds of years in the past, who advocated for veganism in even less practical circumstances than I am in.
I feel I can look at and interact with animals with a clean conscience and that my actions do have an effect on other, even if its not as strong as I'd like. One friend became vegan just by my jokingly suggesting a vegan pact for a weeklong trip we had after having discussions about moral ethics. Positive actions lead to positive self-perception that leads to more general happiness and fulfillment. On the flipside, more despair at not being able to stop animals from being killed and realizing how little other people care every time we talk.
Do you have vegan friends?
Just the one I mentioned that adopted the lifestyle in the last year, but they live in a different state. I'm unfortunately in a very un-vegan place for an extended period of time, so am unlikely to find many nearby.
Stay strong!!!