Without speaking to him in years, and especially about that mutual friend, you have no idea how he’s viewed that loss, or has other, more recent losses that are similar.

And you kept pushing it when he didn’t laugh, either deliberately or inadvertently using the social convention of not causing a scene/confronting someone over a joke to your advantage.

[–] PsychoNewt@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Thanks for the insight. Truth is I still struggle with his passing. He had a great sense of humor and we knew we could make the most dark/twisted jokes and comments to one another. I kept thinking about him when I was dropping the subtle hanging comments to this other dude. I saw it as honoring what i loved best about the deceased but maybe I'm just having a hard time coping. Thanks again.

[–] Lemmylefty@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I can understand wanting to honor your friend, but by making his death the butt of the joke that’s a lot more collateral damage than you intended.

It might work out better if you make dark jokes that aren’t pointed AT your friend but are directed outward, with a “he’d like that” tacked on. That way, it highlights something you liked about him without hitting other people.

[–] PsychoNewt@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I get it. Again, thanks for taking the time to helping me to see a different perspective. I swear my social awkwardness (and lack of general awareness) will be the death of me.

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