I'm going to invent a phone that instead of autocorrect, it just blows off a finger when you misspell a word. You'll learn your lesson real quick.

It feels like the internet is on fire but the firemen hooked their hoses into a gas pump

Mirab, with sails unfurled

I'd dip my breadstick in that.

How does this agenda look?

7:00 Wake up

8:00 Be bisexual

9:00 Eat hot chip

10:00 Lie

Remember when Gary Johnson argued that climate change wasn't a big deal because the sun would become a red giant in a few billion years anyway?

I'm not going to claim I know what's happening, but I like the self-DDoSing explanation because it's even funnier

I've done some weird stuff like making the volume wheel on the keyboard scroll or perform other functions, and it came in pretty handy in text editors or browsers, but less handy when you want to turn the volume down. Any time you have some weird idea like that, there's usually a pretty feasible way to make it work.

Customizing your system to the point that no one else can use it?

Cat: did you know that only 50% of people can fold their tongue like this?

Me: I didn't know you could talk.

I want multis, although that's probably less app-specific than a Lemmy thing. I liked being able to put all the best news subs in one place, all the entertainment stuff in one place, etc

After they changed up the front page years back, I switched to almost only using multis

I'm still new, so maybe there's a way to do something equivalent that I haven't found

wefwef just added dark mode

Let's goooooo!