We had just sat down for our meal of large bread in basket and apples when mother and father brought out the books.

They did not read from the books every time we ate, but enough to make every meal a source of tension. Growing hunger became a source of dread, of physical illness, as my body learned that the approach of the family meal could mean the reading of the book.

They said it was to praise and thank something greater than ourselves, but I always wondered why it was that our praise was never earned, but always demanded.

Our mother and father were true followers, I needed only to see their untarnished bodies to know their holiness, if it could be called that.

We sang the hymns and, as I had learned I must do, I forced myself to feel joy, to turn myself into something like a machine. I was sitting to my father's left, he did not know the tricks I leveraged and thought I was true and kept me close to him.

My brother had always struggled with the hymns, I had worried for him as time after time it seemed he slipped further. This time I heard a quaver in his voice, and broke my own note to glance at him. His hands were melting into themselves, a blending of flesh like wax that he struggled to ignore, even as the pain took his focus. I felt another finger grow from my own hand, and knew that offering him help would be my own undoing.

I closed my eyes and put my hand on my fathers thigh, and sang all the louder. By the end of our song I no longer had a brother, but the flesh that could still flinch was taken outside and buried.

We already had a show like this

Love to gather my mutant children around the table so my wife can shriek curses from the BOBY MEGOLY

I know it's passé to make fun of AI hands but this is fucking ridiculous

Eeyyyy, every night we have a panettone with a glass of chinotto and read Boby Pascoly

is it important that the family be polydactyls?

Ah yes I too fondly recall eating that famously upper middle class dinner, bread and apple

Dear Jesus thank you for this delicious meal of bread and apples.

Why is the kid on the top right touching his dad's dick?

Conservatives are just lame

Let us read from the Booy Pasooly

BOBV PASCOLY

the wholly babble

also, the wife character must have large bazongas

Those cheeks are looking ROSY

Are they sick?

Isn't that just Moral Orel?

Surely the free market will provide

(but also Blue Bloods exists and is peak conservative TV, so whatever)

The entire concept falls flat on its face the second you want to write an intra-family conflict that lasts more than the run time of an episode. It's a concept we've discussed in my writing group. If you're going to be episodic, your characters need to be kind of 2 dimensional. Since I don't read enough, I think of Family Guy where Lois gets a job at the news and when asked about how she lost the job at the end, she replies "does anyone really care?"

Well, since you're a hog and your brain doesn't really do lateral thinking, non-negotiably you want the themes of the show to reflect some kind of rejection of modern culture. "I mean it, this shit around me is not Christcore." You might get through 2 seasons, an introduction to the family and a drawn out conflict with a trans school principal or something. Well, eventually your audience is going to ask how the family deals with a child losing faith or martial issues. The shit will turn into pure ideology. The resolution will be unhelpful because when the wife decides to trust the husband because of a vision from God and the real life woman cannot square the circle of someone fucked up on their vice of choice because they're both evermore atomized. The show will show its thin veneer of aesthetic.

It would only be dogma that Christians I know don't even do. Shows in that position, at best, turn into camp and dumb down their characters. Like one of the kids becomes an atheist for 5 episodes, gets really into anime, and the mangaka of his favorite series is Christian so he converts back. Otherwise they get weird and probably double down on transphobia or something.

The children used to rub their 6 fingered hands up and down my leg until my BOBV turned PASCOLY.

How about NAH. You know what we really need instead? A new season of DINOSAURS.

Thought the candle was light from the window and was gonna be like damn, mans got a nutty thigh gap...

fine, but only if it airs in a time slot right before a show where a white christian family is executed one by one before a live studio audience.

Pinky ring lol

Always Sunny in Philadelphia is just that actually.

Middle left. They have candles placed inside of a potted plant.

Most of the glasses are empty except for one on the left which seems to contain cola and a really small pitcher on the right that seems like it's close to the bottom but contained piss.

Has anyone seen 321 penguins here?

There's also a pack of cards in a leather sleeve on the bottom right.

The best Christian show made recently is Angel Hare (CW for themes of child abuse)

Check out the clipping clock on the far right

I read aloud every night from the Soby Eoscoly

A turkey sized loaf of bread and a soup with whole apples, tomatoes and onions floating on top both served in a wicker basket???

What kind of situations would this type of family even encounter? They saw some black people doing a sit-in at a malt shop? And then the dad sits the kids down to explain why segregation is good?

They all look unwell. Cheeks more flushed than rosy. Like they’re all drunk as shit. Or afflicted with scarlet fever. Or perhaps malnourished from their bread and apples diet. Sounds like a great show.