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submitted 11 months ago by Clodsire@lemmy.ml to c/theonion@midwest.social

GAZA CITY, GAZA—Following conflicting accounts of a horrific attack on a Gaza hospital, officials from the Israeli Defense Forces released a new statement Wednesday that claimed it was you, the reader of this very article, who committed the act of terror.

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[-] livus@kbin.social 251 points 11 months ago

Damn the Onion is on fire lately.

[-] photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 29 points 11 months ago

And all it took was a human catastrophe.

[-] fleabomber@lemm.ee 14 points 11 months ago

Crazy-laugh-cry

[-] brewery@feddit.uk 12 points 11 months ago

So true, its keeping me slightly more sane (less insane maybe more accurate) about the whole mess

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[-] theotherone@kbin.social 150 points 11 months ago

I suspected me all along. The signs were all there.

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[-] WhyEssEff@hexbear.net 96 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

what really blew up the hospital was the friends we made along the way

[-] AOCapitulator@hexbear.net 23 points 11 months ago

if we is the US and friends we "made" is taken literally..

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[-] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 56 points 11 months ago

I am disgusted by my actions.

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[-] uphillbothways@kbin.social 54 points 11 months ago

We've been trying to reach you about your hospital's extended warranty...

[-] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 48 points 11 months ago

Shit sorry I knew I should have eaten less beans last night

[-] Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works 39 points 11 months ago

Thank god I didn’t read the article.

[-] TheBlue22@lemmy.blahaj.zone 31 points 11 months ago
[-] ChihuahuaOfDoom@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago
[-] krimsonbun@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 11 months ago

you're not you when you're hungry

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[-] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 30 points 11 months ago

Ahh shit, got found out. Time to run

[-] roguetrick@kbin.social 29 points 11 months ago

Man, that guy that got mad about a joke that called him dense regarding this topic is going to be pissed about this.

[-] hightrix@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago

You have me as a reference when you apply to The Onion.

[-] TrismegistusMx@slrpnk.net 29 points 11 months ago

What if the real treasure is the hospitals we bombed along the way?

[-] cloud@lazysoci.al 29 points 11 months ago

they are not wrong, it's your tax money being used there

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[-] bquintb@midwest.social 28 points 11 months ago
[-] Dogyote@slrpnk.net 25 points 11 months ago
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[-] PwnTra1n@lemmy.world 23 points 11 months ago

I’m sure I had a good reason

[-] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 22 points 11 months ago

Woopsie doodles

[-] Jordan117@lemmy.world 19 points 11 months ago
[-] Caligvla@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 11 months ago

Shit, they caught me!

[-] JamesConeZone@hexbear.net 18 points 11 months ago

Reader response criticism has gone too far! Stanley Fish in shambles!

[-] shiveyarbles@beehaw.org 16 points 11 months ago

I knew it, it was the Ambien

[-] Resol@lemmy.world 15 points 11 months ago

Guess I am banned from leaving my house then

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[-] MxM111@kbin.social 13 points 11 months ago

Haha! I am pacifist and I did not open the link!

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

Yeah? So? What's the big deal?

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this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2023
1083 points (93.4% liked)

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