Anon Goes to College : greentext

[-] SexualPolytope@lemmy.sdf.org 213 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Anon thinks speaking and writing in a language is all there is to do in a bachelor's degree. You literally have to read thousands of pages of literature, and need to be able to analyze those pieces critically.

Guys, is lying allowed on the Internet? I'm starting to think that Anon never even set foot in a college.

[-] Diplomjodler@feddit.de 85 points 11 months ago

Uses 4chan

"Drowning in pussy"

Yeah, checks out.

[-] Akasazh@feddit.nl 15 points 11 months ago

I think he had a different idea of what 'cum laude' means as well ...

load more comments (5 replies)

[-] javasux@lemmy.world 149 points 11 months ago

Yeah but now all you have is a degree in Italian

[+] CubbyTustard@reddthat.com 90 points 11 months ago

[deleted]

[-] Slowy@lemmy.world 41 points 11 months ago

Jokes on them my degree has no bearing on my ability to be on time

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

Yeah I didn’t show up on time to classes or labs. I just finished my labs first and best so it was fine

[-] empireOfLove@lemmy.one 20 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Turns out most of the white collar world runs like that too- show up early, late, or not at all; if your deliverables hit the bosses' desk by deadline, you're cream of the crop.

[-] echodot@feddit.uk 9 points 11 months ago

My manager has a bee in his bonnet about people being in on time, and he will come and yell at everybody if he notices someone turning up at about 9:15 rather than 9:00. The thing is he gets in it about 6:00 and then goes home at 3:30 and disappears from about 10:00 till 2:00 on a massive lunch, my official start time is 9:30 but often he isn't actually in the main office, so how the hell does he know if people are turning up on time.

So we don't. He's hasn't noticed.

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 19 points 11 months ago

That's what they say, but in practice it's just a class filter. Punctuality and hoop jumping matters MUCH MORE in blue collar jobs than white collar.

It's literally just saying "your family was wealthy enough that you weren't forced to enter the labor market to support your relatives when you were a teenager".

[-] June@lemm.ee 3 points 11 months ago

I bootstrapped my way through college because poor family. But at 40 I’m making more than all but one cousin in my entire extended family, aunts/uncles/grandparents all make less than me because none of them went to college save for that one cousin. My degree was in organizational communication and was absolutely the thing that opened the doorway for me, and as much as I loved the major, it’s technically useless.

[-] fsxylo@sh.itjust.works 9 points 11 months ago

Most of those jobs aren't worth the debt.

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] ThePyroPython@feddit.uk 7 points 11 months ago

Indeed, foreign language teaching and translation work are made significantly easier to get into if you have a degree.

load more comments (6 replies)

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] Decoy321@lemmy.world 97 points 11 months ago

I mean, they still spent all that money to just be a language major for a teaching job on another continent.

[-] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 29 points 11 months ago

Makes me wish it was true.

[-] ivanafterall@kbin.social 41 points 11 months ago

I don't think they allow lying on 4chan?

[-] Decoy321@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

naaaah

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.

Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Right at the top of the page.

[-] Serinus@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

That part is a lie.

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] pokemaster787@ani.social 3 points 11 months ago

Green text probably isn't true but I did have a German professor born and raised in Germany with a Master's in "Conversational German" so it's definitely not impossible.

[-] uberrice@feddit.de 3 points 11 months ago

If its a German degree - Germanistik is different from just German courses. It's more about German literature - how the language evolved, why things are the way they are, analyzing uses of language and so on.

Not really a useful degree, but a degree you need to put work in nonetheless

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] Narrrz@kbin.social 91 points 11 months ago

I'm a native English speaker with an English teacher for a parent and i didn't even pass highschool English.

[-] Shard@lemmy.world 31 points 11 months ago

My condolences

[-] Narrrz@kbin.social 46 points 11 months ago

condo-what now

[-] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 5 points 11 months ago

That's unpossible!

[-] echodot@feddit.uk 2 points 11 months ago

If I have to read Of Mice And Men ever again I swear to God.

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] Squirrel@thelemmy.club 64 points 11 months ago

Got a degree by taking only Italian language courses. Sure.

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 49 points 11 months ago

Too retarded to study anything, but learned to speak perfect American English with no discernible accent?

[-] schema@lemmy.world 34 points 11 months ago

I'd imagine there is also a lot more to a language BA than just being able to perfectly speak it, but I don't really know.

[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 22 points 11 months ago

Yes there's going to be a literature component and probably history and politics, although OP's Italian equivalent of high school might have prepared him for those somewhat.

[-] PunnyName@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago

Maybe all they did was watch American TV.

[-] zuhayr@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

Or American Pie?

[-] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 3 points 11 months ago

Drove his Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry

[-] bane_killgrind@kbin.social 5 points 11 months ago

I can pick out regional North American accents, if he had any American peers I bet there were suspicions.

[-] Nepenthe@kbin.social 11 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Not that this happened, but there absolutely would have been at least one suspicion. Nobody doesn't have an accent of some sort, and he'd have no way of knowing how accurate his pronunciation is all the way from Italy among other Italians. Everyone thinks they sound good til they hear themselves on a recording. His only way out would be to say his family is italian-american but he doesn't know the language very well. He might think of that. He's also on 4chan, though.

However, Americans are highly curious about others as a rule and the women reportedly thought he was at least ok, so someone would have asked where he was from regardless of what he sounded like. And then he would have been stuck playing 20 questions about a randomly chosen region he isn't familiar with and hoping to god whoever he's talking to isn't from there.

load more comments (2 replies)

[-] Unaware7013@kbin.social 39 points 11 months ago

Yeah, bet that went as well as all the Hispanic kids in high school taking Spanish as their 'easy A'... It was hilarious when they realized their easy A course turned out to be their hardest one because they didn't speak the particular dialect being taught and had to relearn their language to pass.

[-] JJROKCZ@lemmy.world 37 points 11 months ago

Still had to know two languages well, that’s far from fuck all lol

[-] berg@lemm.ee 47 points 11 months ago

If you're born into it it's pretty much fuck all tbh.

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] lorty@lemmy.ml 35 points 11 months ago

This person is not only lying their ass off, but made clear they don't even speak a second language. Just because you learned colloquial italian or whatever doesn't mean you actually know a single gramatical rule, or better yet, how that language is written in formal texts, documents etc.

[-] sanpedropeddler@sh.itjust.works 8 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I know how English is written in formal documents. I don't know in depth grammar but in general I wouldn't need to. I just say what sounds correct. Why would an Italian person be unable to do the same?

edit: To be clear I'm not saying he isn't lying. He definitely is.

[-] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 10 points 11 months ago

He's lying but not because of his language ability.

Nobody writing greentext drowns in pussy.

[-] echodot@feddit.uk 14 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Can you have a degree in a language course? Like I get you can minor in languages, but can you major in it? Also what's his minor going to be if it is possible to major in a language course.

I'm not even American and I can see that this story is made up BS.

[-] June@lemm.ee 13 points 11 months ago

You can solely major in a language.

University if Washington’s offerings for Asian languages are included here: https://www.washington.edu/students/gencat/program/S/AsianLanguagesandLiterature-144.html

English: https://www.washington.edu/students/gencat/program/S/English-136.html

Finnish, Danish, Norwegian, Swedish and others: https://www.washington.edu/students/gencat/program/S/ScandinavianStudies-281.html

And there are more like German, near eastern languages, Spanish, and Slavic languages.

If you want an example of Italian, go to Santa Clara University: https://www.scu.edu/cas/modernlanguages/academic-programs/italian/

Or Uc Davis: https://www.ucdavis.edu/majors/italian

Or ASU: https://degrees.apps.asu.edu/bachelors/major/ASU00/LAITABA/italian?init=false&nopassive=true

You really shouldn’t underestimate what you can major in in college. If you’re interested in it, there’s probably a program for it somewhere, or a college with enough classes that you can build a program for it.

[-] aebrer@kbin.social 5 points 11 months ago

Mamma mia!

[-] ThatFembyWho@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 11 months ago

Here I go again

[-] Amends1782@lemmy.ca 4 points 11 months ago

too retarded

Checks out

> Greentext