this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2025
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[–] BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 4 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Lemmy people are not happy because this guy is

[–] mke@programming.dev 1 points 22 minutes ago

Misery likes company, not perspective.

[–] HalfSalesman@lemm.ee 3 points 1 hour ago

I think honestly another way to put it is that pain and suffering are merely unpleasant signals intended to actually prevent you from dying. Death itself is a lovecraftian horror.

I think I'll take the unpleasant signals.

[–] weker01@sh.itjust.works 23 points 3 hours ago

I do believe this was made with best intentions but it has major "just be happy" energy and is made from a position of privilege.

Just getting a therapist for example is a huge battle. Having supportive friends is not ubiquitous. Changing jobs is risky and in certain financial circumstances almost impossible, especially with dependents.

That said I approve of the message that without living there is no possibility of things getting better. My advice is to focus on small maybe even tiny victories daily making lifestyle changes where possible.

[–] Nougat@fedia.io 90 points 22 hours ago (5 children)

It's more true to say that you can't find a better life if you don't continue living. But that's not a guarantee that you can.

[–] brrt@sh.itjust.works 25 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Survivorship bias. In this case also quite literally?

[–] RogueBanana@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 hour ago

You're not wrong but fuckin hell, that's one way to put it.

[–] archonet@lemy.lol 9 points 17 hours ago

indeed, sometimes your reward for perseverance is more suffering!

[–] ReallyActuallyFrankenstein@lemmynsfw.com 15 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

That's the spirit!

(but you're right of course)

[–] bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net 2 points 10 hours ago

Because of the way comments are ordered, I thought for a second that you were replying to the guy saying "being a ghost might be fun too"

[–] anzo@programming.dev 3 points 16 hours ago

Being a ghost might be fun too. But I have no rush :)

[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world -3 points 20 hours ago

I'd go further and say that you can, but might not

[–] VieuxQueb@lemmy.ca 8 points 20 hours ago (6 children)

Ok so if I can't afford to find even a simple therapist finding a good one lol !

Always those with money giving life advice.

[–] Johanno@feddit.org 2 points 4 hours ago

Just take the money from the rich. And if you are hungry eat the rich.

[–] shplane@lemmy.world 15 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

https://openpathcollective.org/ provides a long list of therapists that work on an affordable, sliding scale

[–] VieuxQueb@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 hour ago (2 children)

US only and still 30$ to 70$ per session !

[–] RogueBanana@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 hour ago

Well ig you can find a good friend or a crack head to vent to if nothing else works out. Anyway, hope things work out for you in case you are in need of one.

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 1 points 1 hour ago

Well wouldn't any other country offer therapy for free? Is it counted as medical care?

[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 7 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

They think they have figured out some other secret other than freedom to make mistakes because they have the financial backing to make them is what sets them apart.

Life is full of people thinking that if other follow their exact steps it will work without realizing the things they have differently, such as money and resources, even just skills or biological quirks, do make quite the difference in being able to followed.

I'm not against them sharing it worked for them but that's as far as I feel it goes.

[–] WillFord27@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Just because the variables are different doesn't mean you can't find a correct answer. There are no two situations that are the exact same. The comic is just a success story for motivation.. is it really that deep? Pessimism must be exhausting.

[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 1 points 55 minutes ago

In life there really isn't correct answers. There are your answers. Everything comes with a heavy dose of reality being complicated.
I would say it doesn't really speak to motivation. Their motivation was to leave everything behind and start over which isn't very motivating past being able to do so. It doesn't lead to happiness it just changes the days you have which may feel better while it still feels new.

Everything we share is a chance for others to understand us more. It might not be deep but it is a perspective shared that I'm just pushing back against.

Is it really pessimistic to just disagree with a point of view that I find to be a poor message or is it that way cause you want to assume the motivation is correct to handling life?

Why can't it just be that this is my perspective that I share out for others?

[–] Donkter@lemmy.world 5 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Life is also full of people thinking that if others followed their exact steps there would be no way they could turn their life around. They're often just as wrong.

[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 1 points 49 minutes ago

Yeah, the logic seems sound but is a bit what-about.

The problem is that it is a lot of luck and some strong resolve but the luck is very important.
People should grab the reigns of their life and try to get out of a bad situation but if life paths barely work for motivation then life paths to get out of sharing the same odds does make it quite the uphill battle.

I just want to recognize that as trying so hard to get that perfect life turnaround is like winning the lottery and while people shouldn't stop trying I don't want them to be burned out by the lack of response to their efforts in this complicated world.

[–] RowRowRowYourBot@sh.itjust.works 8 points 20 hours ago

There are almost always ways to get help if needed. You just have to want to find it and be willing to accept what help is given.

[–] DarkCloud@lemmy.world 1 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (1 children)

The comic reads more like "I had an intrusive thought once, and mistook it for being suicidal".

...good thing he alread had friends, a plan, and a therapist... Oh, and a lake to visit regularly at night. Smacks of privilege.

[–] Shardikprime@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Oh shit blaming the victim

Now Lemmy is cooking for sure

[–] WillFord27@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

At least he had alcohol! At least he had a wife to leave! At least he had suicidal thoughts! Imagine being that upset at a guy turning his life around from the brink of suicide.

[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 11 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

Sooo.... Pushed a huge reset button on their relationships and...
I still don't get this. This kind of advice doesn't exactly work for anyone but the person speaking. No one can exactly follow the life of another as we are all completely different.

I guess the point that you have some level of free will and can make personal choices is new to some people but that isn't a fix and doesn't really resolve anything for depression.

It's trying a different tactic to handling life but it negates what was causing them misery in the first place. Which is the monotony of life itself to a degree.

This tosses all that in favor of denying finding purpose for just exploding your existence to see if you can build it new in a way that might make you happy but likely will need another reset when it stops working.

I just don't get it.

[–] pennomi@lemmy.world 71 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

I don’t think this is advice as much as it is a story. The advice is “find a better life, whatever that life is.”

[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 1 points 21 hours ago

That's very much easier said than done. Aa life is often not so easy to find a better version of but more often a different version.

The advice of stay alive because at least you keep experiencing new things is good advice. Trying for better is a nice idea but a message of do what it takes to make your life "better" is... Fantasy in a way that feels off to me.

I could tell the story of the night I tried to drown myself and all that changed since then but it wouldn't be better persay. Just changed. The story would sound like meandering prose and little purpose.

I don't understand the myth of better. It causes misery more in those that do not find it.

[–] MajorHavoc@programming.dev 14 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

You're right. But if someone I care about is choosing between suicide and explode their relationships, I hope they choose explode their relationships. I'll be there when they figure out whatever is next. (I know because I have been for someone who did. I'm not delighted with how they handled things, but I'm glad I still have them.)

[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 1 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Oh I am always in favor of life. Suicide is messy, painful and leaves a lot of people with less in their life.

It's just not a solution as much as a new start point searching for something that doesn't exist and will likely lead you back to having to do it again.

People can do what they need to or want but I see no comfort for those that follow trying to get a better life. That is why I feel sad seeing people recommending it I guess.
We don't find utopia on the other side of tomorrow, just more tomorrows.

[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 6 points 20 hours ago (2 children)
[–] TeryVeneno@lemmy.ml 3 points 19 hours ago

They don't have to mean the same thing, it's an expression. And quite a nice one at that.

[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 0 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Sure. I use words that I find match more to the tone of meaning I intend to convey rather than a 1 to 1 of repeating it for the sake of repeating it.

Do you have anything to add to this other than that 2 words I used are not identical?
I'd be interested in your take on reality rather than a pedantic interjection to make it so you feel like you contributed.

Please share if you have more but I will consider using simpler prose if that's all you want to add.

[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 0 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (2 children)

What a twat. Those two words mean different things. A frog would be able to extrapolate my point. Blocked.

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 0 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Did you read his response?

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Did you? I thought you blocked them.

[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world -2 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)

Yeah, after I read it lmao

Think, Mark! How would it make sense the other way around?

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 2 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

You don't take well to being called a pedant, do you?

[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 0 points 1 hour ago

I don't want to accuse you of being an alt without proof but you're acting very weird here tbh. You didn't respond at all either.

Anyways, no, that part didn't bother me (I am a pedant, after all). I just want to only be called a pedant if I'm not making a relevant point.

I'm clearly not going to convince you, and I don't want to interact with people who act the way you do if I can't hope for you to change. You're going on the list too, pal.

[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 2 points 19 hours ago

What an almost hilariously awful response.

I'm probably better off blocked by you but what an utter disappointment to being offered to offer more to the conversation.