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Eventually it would just become brandy.
Jesus can spike a girl's drink from across the room.
It was probably kombucha.
Can the space man make port?
Only if he concentrates
I want to make a pun but I still can't figure one out.
Take your upvote and get out.
Yes. The power to do literally anything would allow one to do this.
Can he create a stone that is not liftable and then proceed to lift it?
The easiest answer to this is yes, he could create a stone he couldn't lift. And then he could lift it anyway.
Unironically the question by witch many Christian faiths differ: does God needs abide to the rules of logic or not?
For the Roman Catholic, yes, for Calvinists and a bunch other (ok, many other but I'm not an expert), no.
Answer: whatever causes the person you're arguing with to throw their hands up and storm off more exasperated..
No, not really, it's mostly a matter of power.
The Church itself is rooted in the idea that there are autorities on matter of faith and they adopted the Platonical Agostinean idea that faith is empowered by reason. Reason being a valid tool means you have experts that reasoned a lot about religion and people that know less and needs to be taught, ultimately by the Pope.
The "other" side tends to reject authorities, and take the words of the bible as sobjected to personal interpretation or, to an extent, make it into some sort of magical object that the faithfull subjects itself to, without questions. Accepting the contradictions, the illogal parts, are what that kind of faith is about because to question (throught reasoning) God is a Sin.
Probably, but he had to leave something for bored celibate monks to do. There are worse callings than to devote a lifetime to finding all manner of ways to fortify wines.
"And on the third day, there was a wedding in Cana. Jesus' mother was there. When the wine was drunk, Jesus' mother said to him, 'We're out of wine.' 'Bruh... That's a big yikes. But why do I care?', replied Jesus.
Jesus mother instructed the servants, 'you just do whatever he tells you no matter how stupid it sounds.' Jesus sighed and turned to the servants saying, ' Okay. You see those jars? Nope. Not that one. The big ones. Yeah. Those big ones over there. Go fill them up with water. All the way up. Then take some of the water and give it to the host."
The servants were more than a little skeptical but shrugged and did as they were told. When the host of the wedding feast tasted the water, it had become wine. And the host exclaimed, "Damn! That is some good shit. Where did you get that from?" And the servants were amazed because they knew from where the wine came.
And the servants implored Jesus, 'Do it again! No, wait. Can you make something stronger this time?"
-- The Gospel According to [Skibidi] John
Water + Jesus = Wine
Wine + Jesus = Brandy
Brandy + Jesus = Twice-distilled Brandy? Cooking sherry? Idk
I choose to believe at this point, Jesus got so drunk he forgot to try it a third time.
Is this really the blood of Christ? Man that guy must have been wasted 24/7
bro do you got any snacks to go with this
You can have one tasteless cracker.
All I can offer is some fish and bread.
It's all you can eat though, so there's that
No, because then the ATF will show up and shoot him.
Certainly any dogs nearby RIP
I mean, given that Jesús would not only be a brown hippie moonshiner, but also probably a damn Mexican furriner to boot, he'd be lucky if they didn't lay siege to the whole neighborhood, Waco-style.
In the Bible they wanted to kill him many times but he always slipped away. He wasn't arrested until he gave himself to the authorities. The ATF wouldn't catch him if he didn't want to be caught. But I'm sure they'd destroy lots of people, animals and property regardless.
Making water into wine was not something all that special, it used to basically be a concentrate that you would then add to water to consume. Shoutout to the history of Rome podcast. So he could make more and more deluted wine with more water but it wouldn't become more concentrated.
Which podcast is that? You piqued my interest, but there seem to be a lot of podcasts about the history of Rome.
"The history of Rome podcast" is literally the name.
I may have found it. Cheers!
Late one evening a boy and his father were accosted by a mugger. The traumatic moment unlocked some kind of latent power within the boy. Frantically he tried to intervene, skin touched skin, and the assailant's blood turned to wine, fatal. But not before the cretin dealt a terminal blow to the father. And that night that boy became the hero we all know, Jesus Christ.
No it is impossible for God to do that.
I wonder what the azeotrope for magically created alcohol is.
If he indeed turned water into wine and made all things, why would he need to recurse as if he can't get it right the first time?
because he works in mysterious ways of course.
Mmmm pass me more of that wine powder
Wouldn't it be an alcoholic paste?
Woah you might be on to something here
What?
superwine
A mega pint
You just have to find another bodily fluid with the same color as the target alcohol.
So if I'm looking for Baileys...
That about as close to Baileys as I can get without getting my eyes wet
Jesus told me it doesn't have to be alcohol. He once turned piss into Mtn Dew. I've only ever done the opposite.
Pretty much, and for anyone wondering if God could create a rock he couldn't lift...
The answer is still yes, and he is then unable to lift the rock, but able to remove the limitation preventing him from lifting the rock at any time.
I think he ended up being Rasputin and invented vodka
It already exists. It's called "Brandy." Reading more than watching videos helps.
this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2024
301 points (95.2% liked)
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