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submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by UlyssesT@hexbear.net to c/the_dunk_tank@hexbear.net

I'm a former English teacher. You don't need to be an English teacher, however, to know THE ILIAD AND THE ODYSSEY ARE TWO DISTINCTLY SEPARATE STORIES.

This lying fuck did a wikipedia search of "the classics" and wants smart people points for name-dropping THE WRONG FUCKING NAME.

He hasn't read either. At best he's seen a bunch of bleached Hellenistic statue avatars on the internet and nodded along to their RETVRN prattling. biggus-dickus

Ever meet that annoying kid in grade school that said "I am very smart. I know that E Equals Em Cee Squared!" young-sheldon Fifty years later, one of those became my-hero

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[-] rhubarb@hexbear.net 57 points 1 month ago

Recommending an audiobook specifically sped up has such a weird energy

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 45 points 1 month ago

That comes from the same jagoff that said chess was too simple for him because there's no "fog of war" and he prefers some specific bibeo bame instead. Like any insufferable "smarter than you" tryhard on the playground, he won't actually play you in chess to prove it's too simple for him, though.

[-] dannoffs@hexbear.net 39 points 1 month ago

The videogame he said was better is a dumbed down version of Civ for phones. Big iPad kid energy

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 26 points 1 month ago

"Go is a simple game for babies and has been for thousands of years. That's why I play Clash of Clans." smuglord

[-] sweatersocialist@hexbear.net 34 points 1 month ago

lmao he's trying to act like his brain is so big that he needs to take the information in faster. he's like those kids in 3rd grade that swear they can read a whole book in 1 minute and then they open it up and pretend to speed read it just going "ABABABABABAUDDDBABABUBDBAUBUDBAUBBDBABDBUA"

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 26 points 1 month ago

lmao he's trying to act like his brain is so big that he needs to take the information in faster. he's like those kids in 3rd grade that swear they can read a whole book in 1 minute and then they open it up and pretend to speed read it just going "ABABABABABAUDDDBABABUBDBAUBUDBAUBBDBABDBUA"

[-] chickentendrils@hexbear.net 25 points 1 month ago

farquaad-point hey this guy doesn't have the machine that keeps his eye lids open as 500 words per minute flash on the screen

[-] RION@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago

Techbro-vico technique kelly

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[-] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 46 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Elon Musk is a CHUD that ironically acts like how conservatives joke liberals are:

  • Will never shut up about how smart and cultured they are
  • Live in cities with other people like them, sneering down at "real americans" (You know damn well Elon Musk agreed with Hillbilly Elegy).
  • Cosmopolitan as shit.
  • Think they know everything and treat anyone who disagrees with them no matter how politely as scum
  • Literally RUNS an electric car company.

Democrats adopted the platform of republicans in the 2000s, Republicans adopted the vibe of Democrats in the 2000s. The working class is cooked.

[-] vegeta1@hexbear.net 21 points 1 month ago

I always keep these in mind and laugh because these freaks use race science and IQ like fucking horoscopes

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 22 points 1 month ago

"Feeemales are typically so superstitious with their horoscopes and other nonsense, unlike me, the mastermind archetype, also known as INTJ." smuglord

[-] vegeta1@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago
[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

"I am not easy to categorize. I am nonpolitical and labels can't touch me. If all of my positions seem right wing, well, the (slurs) have gone too far." smuglord

[-] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago

I fucking hate that personality type shit.

[-] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 17 points 1 month ago

h a p l o g r o u p in bio

[-] buckykat@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago

They also really like the chud horoscope (MBTI)

[-] egg1918@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago

mfw my last employer lost $10,000 on dogecoin because he believed elons bullshit

hahaha

mfw $10,000 is such a small amount to him he didn't even care

agony-deep

[-] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 38 points 1 month ago

Ever meet that annoying kid in grade school that said "I am very smart. I know that E Equals Em Cee Squared!"

I was that kid agony-consuming

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 34 points 1 month ago
[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 29 points 1 month ago

I just noticed there's another tryhard flex within the tryhard flex: the "listening at 1.25x speed" thing. Because unless you do that you're not optimizing your verysmartness points. jagoff

[-] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 22 points 1 month ago

Imagine listening to audiobooks at 1.25x speed instead of 4x speed hep hep hep hep very-intelligent

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 29 points 1 month ago

Everything must be a competitive hustlegrind, even literature.

You should dual-wield the Iliad and the Odyssey, one audiobook playing in each ear skeleton-guns-akimbo

[-] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago

melon-musk "I love this new genre of music I've invented called 'Hustlegrindcore' which is just audiobooks played back so fast that they become a background whine. But you can still say you read the book! Like, I read Infinite Jest in 3.5 minutes last night, it was great!"

[-] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

Fuck I'm actually interested

[-] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

I imagine it would pretty much just turn into extratone/splitter but without any underlying rhythmic structure since the sentence lengths would all be different

Wait so it would just be noise probably since extratone is pretty much all about converting rhythm to pitch by going extremely fast and not having regular rhythms undergirding it would just make noise

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[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago

Like, I read Infinite Jest in 3.5 minutes last night, it was great!"

I swear I get allergic reactions just hearing the name of that book. The most insufferable douchebags I ever met in college used it like some sort of magic trinket to seem both smart and to try to get laid.

[-] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

In the original Ancient Greek, of course!

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago

Get on my level and RETVRN to Gilgamesh in the original Akkadian!

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[-] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 21 points 1 month ago

so-true My favorite book is Meditations by Markus Arelios!so-true

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago

waves excitedly at pristine unopened copy of The Art of War in le lawyer foyer maybe-later-honey

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[-] peeonyou@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago

Marcus Aereolas

[-] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago

I read the Iliad back in school in the original Greek. So much of it is just "this noble killed that noble". Ya it has good moments, but damn it's a plod. I don't suggest it for anyone unless you're into classics.

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago

I agree with you there; even the motivations were exhausting. "I WILL GET REVENGE FOR THAT" "YOUR REVENGE COMPELS ME TO SEEK REVENGE" and on and on and on. Cassandra was a fun i-told-you-dog vibe on the side, that said.

I much preferred the Odyssey as one of the forerunners of pretty much everything we now call an adventure in western literature... and it was in reverse!

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Oh, ever read Lysistrata? wojak-nooo sicko-fem

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[-] REgon@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Oh I love the Odyssey! That's that movie where Brad Pitt is an unkillable twink, right? And then he dies from posting feet

[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago

They went over the sea to fight a guy named Trey or whatever.

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[-] batsforpeace@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

Dan Carlin's "Hardcore History" podcast — known for its "unique blend of high drama, masterful narration and Twilight Zone-style twists," according to its Apple Podcasts page — is "probably my top recommendation," Musk said.

Musk also shared some of his favorites in another medium: audiobooks. He likes "The Story of Civilization" by Will and Ariel Durant as well as the Penguin edition of "The Iliad."

It's the club-penguin-dance edition or bust!! How long until he starts wearing a gold laurel wreath on his head? No one around him will discourage it.

Seems like he's in a surface level 'wow, isn't (the western narrative of) history crazy, some stuff sure happened...' centrist phase, but because he's rich Business Insider and others make note of these inconsequential musings. Gotta do their part to prop up that 'captains of industry' myth right.

[-] TheVelvetGentleman@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago

I mean, hardcore history is still great. It's not the best HISTORY podcast but it's probably the best history PODCAST.

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago

I can seem like a genius mathematician (to credulous media and gullible onlookers anyway) if I say, like "my favorite sequence is the Fibonacci sequence" and then fluff it up with quirky nowhere talk.

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[-] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

Why he gotta do you dirty like that

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It's bad enough that my bosses were bazinga brained and kept trying to force janky tech into the classrooms that typically lasted a year or less before it broke down and was a waste of money and yet what it replaced was never fully put back.

Part of why I despise my-hero so much was he reminded me of those petite bourgeoisie fucks that'd get rock-hard anytime "what if thing already in classroom... but now on a subscription and requiring an internet connection?" was peddled their way.

Some of the most gut-aching moments I had to see of bazingafication involved piles and piles of books outright thrown away because the library keep getting refurbished to look more and more to look like a Starbucks instead of a place for reading and study. I rescued what books I could... but the memory still sickens me.

[-] neo@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago

Speaking of The Iliad and The Odyssey, are there any particularly good English translations of it that I could read? Is Penguin Classics good enough? Are there better ones?

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Speaking as a former educator, I can tell you the best translation is the one that you understand best. I mean that. If the ideas are conveyed in a way you can internalize and visualize, that's the best one.

Read a few pages of whatever's in reach of you, each, and see which one reads the best if they have different word choices and phrasing.

I've seen some olde-timey versions of the Odyssey, and they're wacky because they make Odysseus sound like a Popeye character.

[-] neo@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago

That's why I'm always hesitant to read non-natively English texts from Project Gutenberg. It's often a translation from the 1800s, or something that is, as you say, olde-timey. That's fine for English-native works, but it grinds me a bit with translated ones.

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I strongly believe that the translation that best conveys the ideas, characters, and themes in a way that most vividly speaks to you is the best one.

If you can pick up Odysseus' yearning and his stubbornness, Athena's sympathy but also her divine arrogance, Penelope's marital faith and deep aching frustration and the like, you've found the one that best speaks to you.

As weird it may seem, modernizations of Romeo and Juliet that turn the entire story into a contemporary gang war, or Julius Caesar into a corporate CEO, work somehow.

[-] neo@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago

When it comes to Shakespeare I just enjoy the originals as is. I read a lot of the plays and found the stories extremely enjoyable. I haven't seen many productions of the plays, however.

That said, I also appreciate movies like 10 Things I Hate About You as a rendition of Taming of the Shrew, or that Richard III where Ian McKellan is a Hitler-esque fascist.

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[-] Hello_Kitty_enjoyer@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

You don't need to be an English teacher, however, to know THE ILIAD AND THE ODYSSEY ARE TWO DISTINCTLY SEPARATE STORIES.

you do because I ain't never read any of that

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this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2024
134 points (100.0% liked)

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