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this post was submitted on 29 Nov 2023
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OMFG I NEED TO BUY ALL THE TOILETTE PAPER POSTHASTE
Dude for real. A cheap bidet attachment for your toilet is the way to go.
First off, a bidet is better than toilet paper. I've been using it for years, and it cleans you 100%. I use basically 1 square of TP to dry myself after, and it's always completely clean. If you had a bird shit on your arm would you just wipe it off with paper and call it a day?
I laughed at all my friends who made fun of me for getting one on all my toilets after the great TP shortage of 2021, and a few of them ended up switching over.
For the apocalypse I have a camping toilet with a foot operated bidet. I mean I already use it when car camping, and I have a hand bidet for backpacking.
Solar panels are also in play. I also bought a freeze dryer and have about 5 deers worth of freeze dried jerky, and buy and freeze dry on sale fruit and veggies pretty regularly. I try to maintain around a 1-2 year supply of on hand food. A few steel plates, ar-15 pistol, and enough ammo to hold off the upper floor for quite a while too, but that's another conversation. I'm as ready to go as I can though, let's do this.
Is there a trick I’m missing? Spray my butthole for 30 seconds and I need pretty much as much TP, actually more because the first batches get wet.
If your stream is at the max setting that's comfortable and you move around a bit and make sure to get the whole area I've got nothing for you other than a recommendation to up the fiber in your diet.
I did get a nicer one that can just about peel the skin off on the highest setting, but even the lower quality one I have on the main bathroom downstairs gets me completely clean. I do tend to use it longer than 30 seconds, I'm pretty thorough about the rinse process.