this post was submitted on 25 Feb 2025
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[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 54 points 1 day ago (7 children)

The problem with saying "Asians are fetishized" is that EVERY race is fetishized. Every body feature is fetishized. Small tits? Fetishized. Big tits? Fetishized. Black? Fetishized. White? Fetishized. Asian? Fetishized. Wear glasses? Fetishized.

No matter who you are, there's SOMEOME fetishizing you.

[–] match@pawb.social 6 points 19 hours ago

which is awesome! if you want to have a hookup with a chaser who only sees you for your anatomy and not as a person with needs

[–] TheresNodiee@lemm.ee 3 points 21 hours ago

That doesn't make it a good thing or something that shouldn't be off-putting to the people who are being fetishized. It's normal to be attracted to certain physical features but when you fetishize certain physical characteristics, ethnic/racial backgrounds, etc. you treat those people as a sexualized objects and not a human being who may have a sexual aspect to them but is much more complex than just the often superficial characteristics that are fetishized.

People want to be perceived as whole, complex human beings, not just carriers of characteristics that provide you sexual gratification which, if you fetishise something about a person, you are doing to them whether you realize it or not. It's creepy, disrespectful, and dehumanizing.

Feel free to feel attracted to certain physical characteristics but do not fetishise people.

[–] lordnikon@lemmy.world 33 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's almost what is being fetishized is not the problem everyone has a preference. It's the objectification that's the problem and not seeing another person as a whole human with agency.

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Indeed, being attracted to certain aesthetic features isn't a bad thing. But seeking out someone to fulfill that fantasy, irrespective of any other factor, is.

[–] MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

People are too quick to assume they are being singled-out "irrespective of any other factor" though. We're all so convinced no-one could like us for who we really are.

I mean, if I'm being honest, no-one should like me for who I really am, but that hasn't stopped plenty of people. You get the idea.

[–] TheresNodiee@lemm.ee 1 points 21 hours ago

Are people to quick to assume that? Where are you getting that information from? Are you assuming it?

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

And it's still not good, and far less frequent than what Asian women endure in the West.

[–] DarkCloud@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Nah, little/big tits are character traits that span multiple races so they're probably going to be fetishized more broadly just by virtue of that.

So here we might need another dimension. I'd call it depth or thoroughness. The idea of submissive asian women might be more thorough in its fetishized details, but probably isn't as broadly as things like tit size.

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 4 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

You're confusing aesthetic preference with fetish.

[–] DarkCloud@lemmy.world 0 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

I mean, I thought we all were goven that Freud's original definition was something along the lines of "an object that must be present in order for the patient to reach orgasm".

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 2 points 18 hours ago

At that point my hand qualifies.

[–] Snowclone@lemmy.world 43 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I've had exactly one partner that was with me as an interracial kink. And it was REALLY creepy. Didn't like it at all. I ask about family a lot to flush that out, if ''my dad would be so pissed if they knew I was dating you'' pops up. I'm out. It's a terrible feeling. The ''this doesn't matter because it happens to everyone'' logic is deeply flawed. This isn't an equation, mutual problems don't invalidate eachother, it just sucks when you realize you're experiencing it and you never want to deal with it again.

Just in case anyone cares, I'm not an Asian woman, I'm a Hispanic man, I relate to the comic, I don't think it's invalid because it also has happened to me.

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Thanks for the confidence boost. I'm waiting for someone to fetishizes weirdos like me

[–] Test_Tickles@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Don't worry, they are out there.

Unfortunately, they are highly allergic to pineapple... but they are out there.

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 1 points 1 day ago

Allergic to pineapples? Yeah that won't work out

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I've heard that people are often interested in Asian women because they are expected to be subservient. I just think that while women of any ethnicity can be good-looking*, East Asian women are better-looking on average. I wouldn't call that a fetish the way that you do, and I don't think it's somehow worse than a preference for any other sort of physical feature (which I wouldn't call a fetish either unless it was very extreme).

*Good-looking to me rather than in an absolute sense.