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this post was submitted on 13 Sep 2024
59 points (98.4% liked)
chapotraphouse
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I think your frustration is understandable and quite justified, especially because "get help" "you need therapy" and especially "who hurt you?" are used as pithy concern-trolling putdowns and ways to belittle people on the internet.
I admit I have a similar personal frustration (in addition to the above, sick of hearing that) with "just do (drug) bro, don't be a (slur) bro" proposals flung at me. I'm not sure if you've had a similar experience there, but to me, the presumption that whatever ailed me would be cured if I just took a big enough hit of something (and I did try a few things in college; who didn't?) felt similarly dismissive, especially if I didn't respond with the results they expected.
it's this same underlying ideology of "your suffering isn't real, your sadness isn't real, your anger isn't real. i don't feel any of those things so you shouldn't either. your brain is just bad and needs fixing" (definition of fixing left up to specific person stating this)
I’m a therapist. If any therapist ever tells you your suffering isn’t real, fire them. I’ve mostly been working with kids (under 21) for years. Typically, while all the kids I see have real problems, the kid sent to the therapist is the healthiest one in the family. So yeah, people who aren’t in therapy who try to send people to therapists usually need it more.
I can't help but be reminded of this old meme: